It's JEMY!! =D

Diary

2011-01-08T23:51:00.002+08:00

I've started writing diary, pouring all my emotion inside, cause blog is not really a place for that.

So i'm thinking, whether to take it down or not, cause there's no point keeping it... right?

Anyway, am obsess with the song "Stan" by EMINEM ft Dido, yea, it's like old~ Still it rocks =)

1st day of the year

2011-01-01T21:58:00.002+08:00

I had awesome lunch at TGIF =D

okay bye x)

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T00:51:00.000+08:00

Hey, people what are you doing out there? It's New Year eve, was New Year Eve, what did you guys do? For those who are still stuck in jam now, yes I'm talking to you too Ted Teo, IDIOTS! =p

I'm never a fan of any count down, unless it's in my friend's house, part or something like that and I'm staying afterwards then I'll, but if I need to suffer through the hours of jam though I'm not driving, still think it doesn't worth it. You know how bad things always take over good things easily, like negative feelings taking over positive feelings (in my case), there's no point ruining my last day of the year (though it's actually not a big deal to me or anyone, guess they're just finding an excuse to leave home to party till midnight).

Last year and I mean 2010's new year eve was rather crappy, thanks to that fellow. He loves ruining my days, he's a fucktard. =)

I had lunch with my dad today, then was alone at home, went to play online game, then went to my uncle's house for a steamboat dinner. Went home early cause we don't wanna get stuck in pathetic jam. Chilled the wine and am drinking it alone now.

I drank a quarter with my dad, and thee are like half of them left. The wine bottle and wine glass are sitting on my table. I wonder how long I need to take to finish up that bottle of wine that's a tad too sweet. I don't like wine, I prefer hard liquor, those like Blue Label~ And especially Blue Label =)

Haven't been drinking for so long, I better make sure I can drink as much as I could back then before CNY comes around and smack me on my face. That's the drinking season, agree?

Bye people, I'm going to watch movies or Vampire Diaries and ... umm seep the wine away? hehe

Happy New Year =)

Turning point

2010-12-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

Thing that seems so bad yesterday was turning the other way around. And... I plan to somehow ditch this blog already, should I? Should I not?

Let's see.

Two funerals in two months, two lovely old ladies, two heartbreaking events. Things will be better soon, even better than now, it will.

It's easy

2010-12-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

No more how disappointed I get, how lonely I feel and stuff, you don't need to DO a thing

Just say this "We'll always be there when you need someone to talk to."

Say it like you mean it.

I've heard it yesterday, but it's not from you.

You're always saying pretty things, but you never did it.

If you say I'm not taking any moves? Face it, I've given this all up like months ago, just my heart is still hanging there, because everyone tells me, you don't fucking care.

And I do agree now.

I'm bloody broke now =(

Plan to be a cave woman for the next two months

Perhaps going out like once in a while

but really once in a while =(

Scary =(

2010-12-19T00:07:00.000+08:00

Went to watch Rapunzel with Teo today, dined at TGIF for lunch, awesome food! Ohya, we went to IOI, a little bit dress up cause I haven't went out for so long, just want to wear something better and put on some make up. Look pretty weird walking around IOI like that, some people are wearing house shorts and tees. =\

Bought a pair of shorts and skirt for new year! So far, I've bought one singlet, one long sleeve, one long top, one pair of shorts and skirt for CNY. I think all this adds up to maybe RM300? Hmm, not sure how much my mum's gonna sponsor me this year for new year wear, hopefully I can still afford some new dresses and new top! This is like pretty much the only time I really shop for clothes, so I'm gonna go all out! XD

Ohya, back to the movie, it's NICE! Much better than what I've expected. You know, it's like this is a tale we read since we're kids, the story is so pure and a tad boring (when you're 19), so I wasn't expecting so much from it, though there are articles and articles that claiming that THIS is different. Indeed it is! It's funny, quirky, romantic and lovely! Rapunzel is SOOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEE! Too bad we're watching the 2D movie, anyone watched the 3D yet? Is it great?

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

The very next day you gave it away

This year to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

I was sick last two weeks, went to clinic twice, took 3 days MC and 1 unpaid, yet I haven't fully recovered yet. I'm not sure about anyone out there, whenever I'm sick, I'll have bad dreams.

So, I had dreams, it's not a nightmare, but it might as well be. The dream is about the past, specifically last year some where before MUFY first sem's final. People who knows me would know that's like the darkest period of my last year's life. My heart is totally broken into pieces, yea it sounds so dramatic and stuff right? But to me, it is that painful.

In my dream, it's like from day 1 to the last day, from the day we sat at the bench understanding each other more, to the most heartbreaking sentence he said. You know, "no" is not the worst thing, the worst is... that... sigh... Put it this way, it's happening, but he can't let it happen. That's actually the part which kills me.

I listened to the song sang by hebe, "ji mo ji mo jiu hao 寂寞寂寞就好". I played it repeatedly that day, feeling bloody sick, and that song just perfectly reflects what I was feeling back then.

Yea, it happens in such a short while, but the impact is huge, like freaking huge.

Having no one to turn to, and no effort being put to turn to anyone, I turned to Teo. It's hard for him to listen to me talking about the past, but he sat through it, and asked for more. He's a very very very awesome boyfriend, and so I'm scared. You know sometimes when things went on so well, you're afraid of what's going to happen next? That it is!

The dream hurts duh, but what hurts more, or might hurt more is the thought of him leaving me someday. I mean, nothing is permanent, though we always hope that our current partner will be the one who last a life time, but let's face it, it doesn't occur much these days. I'm not sure how our previous generation can do it so well, but these days, it's rare, REALLY RARE.

And so, I'm scared, because Rapunzel is a tale, in real life, there's no such thing, no such magic, and maybe not even such love.

Pondering

2010-12-12T10:10:00.000+08:00

I was sick last week, lost my voice totally, sore throat, fever, cold, cough, everything, so I took two days MC to rest. I can't do anything going to work anyway, I can't even talk clearly around my colleagues, what about through the mic?

Anyway, I sort of decided to quit my job the end of this month, but somehow I'm reconsidering again. I'm again retreating back to the crossroad, to quit or not to quit.

Okay let's see, I hate the job, but I'm somehow adapting to it.
I almost have to work overtime everyday, but we're paid for overtime, quite nicely paid actually especially on Saturday.
I hate hate hate this job, but I'm still fresh to the call floor. Minus the days I'm absent, I'm actually there for less than a week only.
The job is stressful, and my leader stress us to hell cause he's always so uptight, but this stress is bearable, it's just that I'll start starving myself when I work.
My health ummm, fluctuates. It gone worse cause it stresses me up a notch. However, it also changed my biological clock to a kinda healthy lifestyle, sleep at 10 wake up at 7 kinda thing.

Plus, the money is good. I ummm maybe plan to get a new phone the end of next year or beginning of the third year, and is planning to save up so I can go somewhere nice after I graduate from Honours. So, money can be a bit tight if I don't work, even if I don't buy a phone. Ummm....

I shall talk to Ted (Well, Teo sort of changed his name to Ted, just you see, for... fun?) and see how things should be going. My parents don't really care though, quiting early or not. Roar. Decision, decision, DECISION!!!!

I've done reading all of my newly purchased books so I'm down to the old and boring book =( Those which I dumped on my book shelf, gathering dust after reading a few pages, cause it's THAT boring.

Those books are under classic category =)

Working sucks

2010-12-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

Actually no, working doesn't necessarily suck, just this job sucks. Not because the job scope sucks, it's just that it doesn't suit me. There are so many different type of profession/job out there, why? Because everyone is different, they fit in different category, fit in different job, and I thought this can be one of the job which suits me, I'm pretty much wrong I guess.

I hate it when any anonymous number popped up, I usually tried not to ignore the call and proceed to pick it up in case it's something important. I hate telemarketer, no matter what they're selling. I hate thick-faced people, and I usually don't even push into knowing something if it's obvious someone doesn't feel up to speaking up.

I'm doing all this now. Calling random strangers (and I hate talking to strangers. Plus, the people out there are fucking rude.), disturbing them (though I'm offering them a protection to prevent unseen circumstances), bloody thick-faced trying to just talk to them.

Ohya, Mr. curse-yourself-to-death, I'll assume any accident that surfaced on newspaper involve you, and you're dead, without any insurance, so no death benefit, and leaving your family starving because you're the one who cursed yourself to death on the phone. Oh, plus, the phone call is recorded, maybe some devil will play you the tape when you're down there. FUCK YOU JACKASS!

No, I've done this hundred times and it doesn't make me feel better. Dad asks me to resign whenever I want, but just feels kinda sucky to give up like that even though I will just broke down (nah, almost broke down) anytime the thought of "Oh, gotta go to work tomorrow" pop into my mind.

My colleague told me, you'll either like this job or just plain hate it. I guess it's like depends of how thick-faced you can be? Cause you'll be yelled at, screwed, scolded like most of the time on the day. Most often or not, the people are mean, rude. The educated people are snobby and will probably die penniless.

I went to Karaoke with my colleague last Friday, it's awesome, so much more awesome if this job is enjoyable.

Come to think of it, I actually enjoy and love going to work back at Etude House. The difference between this and that is that, last year I'm hard selling luxuries to people who probably might not need them, face-to-face, but this year I'm hard selling necessaries to people who should acknowledge how important it is, through phone.

No wonder Insurance is an unsought product. Everyone just hang up when they know you're selling them insurance, and if too many customers do that to you, you'll get screwed by your superior. Woohooo, fuck this shit.

I'll give this job another one week to go, I'll either resign after I've worked for one month or two. No three, this job is suffocating me, and if I worked for three months, it means right after the day I resign, it's the day for me to go back to Monash. So not cool

choice

2010-12-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

whatever choices you made, even if everyone wasn't being positive about it, it's okay if you never had think "I made a mistake/or it's a bad choice" from beginning till the end. You're screwed if that message has popped in your mind.

I think last year during September, I've made a mistake.

I asked myself a couple of times, since few months ago, the very first time we met. From then till now, the answer is NO. They're not of the people I'll enjoy to be with, and certainly a bigger no. Okay, imagine this, you're in a room full of new people and no one gives two flying fucks of talking to you and you're just ignored, big time. You're the only one there who knows practically no one. Would you like to put yourself there again? Hell no.

I thought that was normal. When I started working, it just made me feel more negative about that. Bloody hell, everyone is so nice to me, and they're like COMPLETE STRANGERS you know. Not like friends of friends. Yea, some of them don't even smile but they're of different departments. Those in my group are like freaking nice!

Oh ya, result is OUT! The result is awesome!! =D Hehehehehehehehehehe

HOWEVER, the good mood is ruined RIGHT AFTER THAT.

Common sense, you won't do things that your friend hates in front of your friend even though your other friends might not care.

Everyone loves and hates different things, generalising all gives you shit, and will just make people think, it's just probably a mistake of getting close to you. Use your BRAIN!

A funny guy who declined a sale
"Hi, I'm (fill in the name), calling from (the insurance company)."
"Oh, you called a wrong number." *hang up*
friend turned and stared at me "Before I said who I'm looking for, he said I called a wrong number."

Please, decline smartly, if not you'll just become the joke of the day =D

Tension

2010-12-01T21:09:00.000+08:00

result will be out tomorrow, hopefully everything will be well and I'll still be able to retain my 50% scholarship. If not, I'll bang my head to the wall till I die.

ROAR! Tension like shit! Everything will be well, it'll be well =) chill jemy chill

When everyone's discussing about their results tomorrow, I'll be making calls (if they'd finally solved the existing problem). I hope the sms will be sent to me during 1-2pm, at least I'll know by then. All will be good, my heart won't drop, I'll still be alive. Pray for me people, and I'll do the same x)

Honey = awesome drink

2010-11-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

when you're having a very persistent sore throat. In my case, since beginning of last week. It should be due to the sudden cut of water intake after I've started working in the office.

My training is sort of over last Friday, however I haven't been put to call the customers yet. So basically today was another day of training of some sort.

Anyway, the day after I stopped working is the day Monash starts, which means I'll have no time for myself to rest or relax AT ALL. Pretty crappy right?

I should go to the dentist this holiday, record song (sing by me), take photos to make a music video which matches the song, go take vaccination and a lot more. Sigh, but MONEY.. I mean MONEY!

Oh ya, just got my tag today, so COOL! Lol, sorry, first time working in such office =p It's still COOL!

Weirdest thing ever

2010-11-27T19:28:00.001+08:00

Deleted 2 paragraphs of thing. Ummmm, sigh....

Downloaded hotel dash to play, will probably complete the whole game in one or two hours time. Game like Crysis and Dead Rising 2 requires more thinking and reflexes, lol, and I'm so a little bit exhausted after one week of training and cramming things into my brain. Will probably play Crysis tomorrow though, awesome!!!

Rest

2010-11-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

After five days of work, I can finally have a good rest! In the future, I might need to work on Saturday if my sales is not satisfactory. ROAR! Wish me luck people! Nobody likes going to work on Saturday right? Plus I walk for almost one hour per day T-T Good exercise yes, but my legs are quite painful from all the walking, especially when I wore wedges to work No more wedges!!

Well from this week, I guess I gained a lot of knowledge in the product, about my job and the necessary skills to perform my job. Other than that, I've made some new friends with wonderful people. Hopefully when they put me on the call floor, the people there will be as nice HAHAHAHAHA! But I heard my team leader can be really fierce >< I better not screw up anything!

Anyway, nothing much happened these few days cause just to be safe, I won't even discuss my job much with my friends. It's annoying to use my brain to process if this or that is considered as confidential or not, so the best way is to just not say anything. If you're working/learning whole day, trust me, the last thing you want to do is THINK.

It's so tiring even though we've been sent home early when the training ended. From next week, we can only go back at 6.30pm, we might have to OT and stuff, means I'm gonna reach home later, shower faster, blow dry longer, sleep earlier. I slept like 10pm these days, gotta wake up at 6.50am everyday!

Well it may seem that I'm complaining so much about my job, but deep down, I think I like it a lot. The people is so nice, it's so easy to warm up to them than the students in Monash. They're friendly, down-to-earth, though they have like years more experience than me and much older. I would so much hope that I have like more friends like them, cause honestly other than like maybe 10 or 12 of my friends I'm having now, the rest are not really my friend.

Those who I still go out with, who I still bother to contact them myself, they are the only ones I have and the only ones who also care about me. Those who ditched me and just appear for benefit, you may as well rot in hell kay? =)

I sound so bitter lol, sorry I do mean it.

GAH, sick again, bye people.

JING AND JO WHEN ARE YOU GUYS FREE X)

First day of training

2010-11-22T19:24:00.001+08:00

Well, due to the confidentiality thing, I can't really tell much of my job there. Bet you guys still don't know what I'm selling =p

Anyway, this is the first day of training, so far it's fun! The people are really fun to be around with, but me and Teo are the only Chinese in this training batch with 3 Malays, 1 Male and 2 Female. Nice people! =)

Actually, I don't see much Chinese workers there as well, so far I've spotted 3, ONLY. Not a big deal though, the people there seem nice enough!

Lucky us, we found a route to and fro work easier, just one public transport LRT, instead of hopping off LRT, then proceed to hop up Monorail and walk. This can save us like RM50 per month =D But we have bought like wrong package today... Wasted RM50 =(

I'm quite tired now, due to all the walking and not having a good sleep yesterday night. I woke up at 6.30am this morning, and will most probably need to wake up around that time.

Okay, here comes the important stuff, anyone looking for a at least 3 month's job? At least 3 months ya, training will be provided. Nice environment, nice people. The job is like what I'm going to do next week, telemarketing, selling products through phone. This job can definitely improve your communication skill, if you're a talkative people like me, you'll love it even more =)

If you are interested, drop me a message or something, the company name is UTS at KL, near Jalan Raja Chulan, the old KWSP building, 10th floor. They're recruiting people now, so go ahead and book some time for interview, and don't forget to put my name there as the referral. Write TEO SHIN EE ya! TEO SHIN EE! Oh, don't forget your resume yea. The lunch hour is 1-2pm, so just come anytime other than that will be okay.

If you're taking public transport, you can get there by either taking monorail to Raja Chulan or LRT to Masjid Jamek. Both requires some walking. If you can't google earth and stuff, message me the day before you interview or e-mail me at jemyteo@gmail.com

have a nice day people!

Out with the GIRLS =)

2010-11-21T12:51:00.000+08:00

On Tuesday, J-anne, Pei Ling, Beatrice, Joyce and me went to watch 'You Again' at Sunway Pyramid. I love the show and I love Kristen Bell. She's so cute! Especially with the bangs!

Anyway, you again is a movie about a girl who once was ugly (pimply face, had braces) and bullied in high school (loser?). However, her brother has helped her gone out from that depressing stage and got a whole lot of bright future ahead of her, UNTIL she found out her brother was marrying the girl who caused her misery back in high school. Worst of all, the ex-cheerleader/bully/Kristen Bell's brother's girl friend was loved by all her family members, including her dog, making Kristen Bell felt like high school, again.
Dramatic? It's not the end yet. Kristen Bell's mother finally met the bully's aunt (her parents died) few days before the wedding and found out the bully's aunt was actually her ex-BFF. Of course, there was a story behind two of them, they're girls. Girls always bring dramas (annoying I know) x).

A really funny movie, though Beatrice said it's average because she's watched Dinner with Smucks back then and it's really funny so it sort of make this movie not so funny.

So, if you haven't or didn't or do not intend to watch Dinner with Smucks, this is a really enjoyable movie. Funny, not but stupid, intertwined with friendship, growing up, family and LOVE. =)

The movie ended at 5 something I think, so we went to MNG to shop, walked around, bla bla bla and spent a great deal of time trying to figure out where to dine. Seriously, it's really annoying to think of what to have for dinner, especially when you're in a mall and there's at least a dozen shop that serves good food. So we tried adding up our favorite number and spot the restaurant name on the directory which is of the sequence of the number. *FAILED* then we think of the cuisine we want. *FAILED TOO*. At last J-anne asked us to choose between two numbers and only she and Joyce knew what's the cuisine chosen behind the two number. And that's how we finally decided to have Japanese food in Sushi Zanmai. Uber affordable and nice restaurant. And I'll let the photos do all the talking now.

I can't seem to smile naturally when I'm taking photos with my friends.

On Thursday, We went to play badminton at Puchong without Beatrice (she's probably busy shopping =p). We met up at Pei Ling's place first before we went to the nearby court.

The court was flooded with children that day, primary school children I assumed, they looked really young and tiny lol. If I'm not wrong they're either in the school badminton team or badminton club thing. I feel kinda, not kinda very embarrass, cause they're young and good and I haven't been playing badminton for months my body was really rusty and still am quite rusty. Not just badminton I haven't gone to gym for months too, double rustiness! Nevertheless it's still fun! I haven't been hanging out with a few girls for some really long time, maybe 2 to 3 years? So I really did enjoy myself back there, hence the hyper-ness and talkative-ness.

After one hour of game, we made Pei Ling decide where to have lunch cause she's the only one who is familiar with the neighborhood. *evil grin!*

We went to a Japanese steamboat restaurant, Mizu Restaurant I think or Misu, something similar to that. The food was... nice? I mean it can't be bad unless they serve rotten meat and stuff, and since you're the one cooking, you can only blame yourself if it's overcooked or under.

The funnest time I guess on the day should be the iPad gaming session when we're back to Pei Ling's house. Lol, they're supposed to be discussing about the enrollment, since the due date is like 22nd of November, but instead we're playing cliffed, tilt, ninjump on iPad. It's really cooooooool! IPad I mean.

Cliffed and Ninjump are really fun to play on iPad because well, it's HD, the graphic is awesome, as per all Mac's products. But when it comes to games like Tilt, which require accelerometer, iPod will be better in handling it. When you're using iPod, a slight tilt will do to move the thing around but when you're dealing with iPad, the bigger screen and size, you'll need more motion.

But the HD thing in iPad is still very cool!

I should probably stop thinking about the iPad.

Anyway, do you guys have this feeling? It's like before holiday we're busy as heck thanks to the assignments and mid-term, when it's holiday you're as free as bird yet you kept thinking you haven't done something important (like assignment that's gonna due tomorrow)?

Hopefully this weird feeling will go away after I start working, which is tomorrow T-T

Sigh, there goes my life! reaching LRT station at 7.30am cause I need to reach office at 9.30am, taking LRT to Hang Tuah, then got off and take Monorail. Dropped of at Jalan Chu Lan and walked at least 10 minutes? Don't forget about the walk from parking to LRT station, 10 minutes as well, at least.

Well, at least it's a good exercise, have fun people!

I think I've just went MIA

2010-11-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

for a week? or so? Okay, and I'd just gone through some of my previous posts and I found myself calling Teo her when he's a he. That's what will happen when you blog in a shitty mood and didn't bother to check and blah blah blah.

Okay, life's been pretty good and bad lately. How could it be good and bad?

Good:
I went to out with J-anne, Pei Ling, Beatrice and Joyce on Monday. At Sunway Pyramid. Movie: You Again. Let's talk about it in some other post, I think I haven't transferred the photos to my computer yet. I think... hmm... I'll check when I'm free

Tuesday was my brother's birthday, so we went to Farenheitt 88 for dinner. I forgot the restaurant's name and I'm gonna check it as soon as possible, photos and everything will be in another post also. =)

Yesterday, which is Friday is a BADMINTON day! Went to Pei Ling's house, badminton at a nearby court, Japanese steamboat as buffet, then back to her house, crazy iPad games session, no photos. Shall do this with the movie post.

Okay, Thursday, was the day I went to interview at a company in KL, it's a call center, if I'm hired I'll be working there as a telemarketer. A pretty new thing to me cause well, this is my second job, my first job was quite... fun and .... disastrous at the same time?

Back to the interview. So we had two interviews in a day, two different interviewers. First interview was really really DISASTROUS, because I stuttered through. Can you imagine me stuttering? Gosh! First interview was about role playing, and our role (the four interviewees) will be the sales person, selling PEN. We had 5 minutes to prepare our script, two sets of them, one in English and another in Malay (bahasa pasar/mix language) is not allowed. I haven't been using Malay for like two years? So the script in Malay KILLED me. I couldn't think of those words, those technical words and crap I screwed up badly in that part. Other than role playing, she asked me, "Why do you think I should hire you.". The usual interview questions and stuff.

Luckily, things went on really smoothly in second interview, which was to test our (Me and Teo's) proficiency in English and Mandarin. The second interviewer is a really nice guy, asking the usual questions such as our strength and weaknesses, introducing ourselves in both language, our basic understanding or knowledge in telemarketing and insurance (which is none for my case). I guess I pulled it off well.

Hence..... I GOT THE JOB! =D

My busy working life (busy both in work and commuting to work) will start next Monday, the pay is good, but I will not get to enjoy my holiday as much. I haven't had my kajang satay yet, and... the penang trip =(.

So, hopefully I won't abandon my blog again. =(

Have fun people!

I'm off to play Crysis now, OLD BUT GOLD! =D

A pleasant surprise =)

2010-11-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to go to Eugene Chia's place with Teo and tau cheung, bobo, fishie they all. However, due to some problem on Eugene's side, they delayed the thing to 2pm. I was having a dinner tonight, so I had to skip it :( BURGER!!!!! *scream*

Anyway, I'm back from the dinner. Nice seafood restaurant at somewhere between Kuchai Lama and Happy Garden. Apparently it's rather famous, awesome awesome food. :) Love the tofu, fish and prawn. The pork knuckles is just average.

Surprisingly, Rachel and Keziah were celebrating their birthday there tonight, sitting opposite of my table. Haha, I didn't see them until Rachel called me. Chatted with them for a while, catching up a little bit. It's a pleasant surprise to bump into Rachel, Keziah, Yuen Shiong and Joanne =)

Got to know my cousin brother's girlfriend better today, she's sick and seemed a bit bored. x) and I know how it felt, I used to just sit a side, sip my alcohol and stared into the blank space.

Anyway, good night, and not as depressing as what I thought.

Better

2010-11-13T01:11:00.001+08:00

My mood pretty much still sucked after Teo came out from his exam room, hugging him helped a little but still my mood was still crappy.

We went to Uniqlo after his exam, and parked his car at Pavilion. By then, my mood lifted a tiny weeny bit, time helps, and talking helps load too.

Didn't get much clothes from Uniqlo, most of the clothes are too thick to wear in Malaysia, though I really love the jackets. Maybe I should I get one, I might get too cold in uni, should I? Errr, never mind, I'm going there next Tuesday. Might be getting myself some jeans, but I think they don't have my size, they're for skinny girls ='(

Anyway, I only got these two today. Bright orange bra top and a deep purple slim fit long sleeve long-tee. In real life, the orange is much brighter, and the purple isn't that deep. Love both of them =)

ignore the blue shirt underneath please

After shopping, and queuing up super long for fitting room (Teo didn't try his purchase and I didn't try the orange top, two impatient people), we went to Pavilion food republic for our dinner! I forgot the name of the restaurant but I used to go there a lot with my family. Affordable nice Italian food =))

Creamy Chicken Soup! RM3.90

Skillet Salmon Spaghetti? RM18.90

Seafood Carbonara. RM18.90

The chicken soup tastes nicer when it's warm, doesn't taste as nice when he just served it, a tad too hot which killed my taste bud. The soup is thick but not too creamy, thumbs up!

Salmon spaghetti!!!!!! The portion is BIG, I was pretty much stuffed half way there. Worst of all, Teo wasn't feeling well, he could only manage a few spoonful of soup after he finished up his dish T.T. Salmon is always awesome, I don't think any one can cook it badly. Overall, love it. It's my all time favorite there anyway.

Seafood carbonara, when I tried it, I think it's a tad dry. But but apparently Teo forgot to mix the spaghetti with the sauce when he fed me. He said it's nice but the mussels were a bit dry. Where can I get awesome mussels with spaghetti that's not dehydrated? ='(

It's still a little early to go home after our dinner, tsk need to avoid jam. So we went to Sticky and watched how they make the whole big chunk of... ummm... freaking huge sticky to small pieces of them. Hehe, the sticky looked like a whale before they disposed off the ass of the sweet (the whale's tail). Sadly, we didn't get ourself a large jar?/bottle? of mix rocks candies. As compared to the sticky sold at OU, their mix rocks candies didn't have as much varieties in it, the same few flavors repeating themselves, making it so not attractive. =( I wanna get another jar/bottle of them at OU when I'm free, am finishing up mine at home. Hard to stop eating it.

Good night =DD

Cut

2010-11-12T15:34:00.001+08:00

I'm in the library now waiting for Teo's final paper to end. Still gonna sit there for another one and a half hour and I've finished reading my second book. BAH! I bought a novel I already had during MPH members weekend. They changed the book's name and layout, so I thought it's a new book. This sucks! T-T so now I only have 3 more books to read up.

The first two novels I've finished reading are of the life of a foster carer, who wrote with the pseudonym Cathy Glass. Her books are mostly based on her true experiences through dealing and taking care of the kids or teenagers who grew up in a terrible background, having no parents who were capable to take care of them. The books are really good, giving you an insight of the worlds we would never see ourselves in, yet they're actually very close to us. It's happening in every street, every family who don't have a proper place to live, every kids who have no school to study. At least in England the kids must start their education, it's the law. Don't think think there's such thing in Malaysia.

The next three books, supposedly four books are from the author Tess Gerritsen. I started reading her books one year ago I think and I'm on hook. It's about homicides, most of them sickening and twisted. This is the type of novels I enjoy reading the most. Sometimes I read up books like Nefertiti, the first female emperor in old Egypt, it's fun, albeit some people who think it's boring cause it's like history?

Okay back to the book which I've just finished reading, which is "Cut"- by Cathy Glass.

The book is about a teenager, who was 13, who didn't remember what happened since she's five till nine. Four years of black hole in her childhood. Her parents couldn't take her presence, she was friends with the rebellious teenager who were elder and hang around in the street, only returned to their home when the police picked them up.

She had difficulty in sharing and when hurt filled her up, she started cutting herself. She also suffered sleeping disorder as she sleepwalked when she's anxious or something rekindled in her subconscious, leading her to replay what's in her memory when she's sleeping.

Her past was bad, she took cutting and bleeding it out as a way to cope with all the negativity, angst, fear and hatred.

Before deciding whether to get this book or not knowing that it's about self-harm, I wondered how will this book affect me, because I'm sure as hell it'll bring out my memories. Self-harming, the black hole in my memory, the things I buried deep inside that I don't want to remember. But there's no point running away from the possibility of remembering forever. I did not forget those time, just never want to be reminded. Maybe that's the reason why this book touched me more than the others, even though it's actually not the worst and saddest story. Probably cause i can understand a tiny weeny bit of why she's doing it and how it made her feel.

Better.

When the blood start seeping out, everything seems better. The hurt and pain in the mind in the heart faded as the physical pain overwhelmed me for that instance. I forgot how long it took for me to get rid of this habit. At least two years. My parents didn't know, and I do not intend to let them know. And I'll kill anyone reading this blog, like my cousin who intend to tell them. They'll feel guilty and sad for not realizing, but I was a good hider or actor.

Or should I say through the blood washing away the problem temporarily, I can function better after that. You know some people self-harm for attention, but I hid it. Cutting on those places where no one noticed, or making it seem like just a scratch. I'm very clumsy, so it was convincing. I don't cut a few lines, I repeatedly cut on one so it won't be obvious. I have friend who did that for sheer attention, they showed people as if that's a medal, a trophy.

But it was over, a past, I've never done it for like... Three years? And will not again. If I'm not tempted while reading this book, I'm pretty much off hook.

I don't remember things before my grandpa died, I picked up the pieces of memories by asking about my parents and them telling me how I behaved when I'm a kid. I didn't know how I was treated when I'm a kid. The only thing I know was my grandpa loved me a lot, my second uncle too. How good they treated me, those details, were being filled by what I'm told of. I just found out recently that I blanked out on my second uncle's funeral. I was 8 by then, too old to not remember isn't it? I don't even remember I went to his funeral and how it went on, the only bit I remember was I woke up in the middle of the night, my dad told me he's gone. That's the only part I remember. All these years I thought he died in the hospital, hence there's no funeral. But there was....

Honestly, the funeral last week has hit me hard very hard, plus all the stress that were piled on me and the guilt of screwing up my paper, risking the scholarship and stuff. Just to make things worse, the job I thought I'll definitely get gave me a bad news, my laptop died, old sad memories rushed in, realizing that I had more black out in memories than I thought. Everything is a mess, I'm still taking my time to recover, taking my baby steps. When I'm at this state, every minor things can just blow my mood out or proportion. I hate this and I'm starting to hate myself a little bit.

Why am I here sharing this, somehow private and intimate matter? Maybe because I don't wanna hide it anymore. How many friends knew about all of this? Honestly, none, they might know one but not all, and not in depth. And even in this post, a lot of things were left out. My friends might look at me differently if they ever come across this post, but who cares. I'm tired... I want some rest, and some air. Too many things stuffed inside my mind for too long, I need some air, I need to breathe, and to able to sleep like how I sleep before my grandpa died. Guess it's no longer possible.

Finals over!!!

2010-11-11T13:56:00.001+08:00

Actually it's over on Tuesday. I was so stress and relax I just can't pick myself up to update my blog. Plus, I'm still lurking around like an emo zombie, so in order to avoid being too emotional in front of people, I always keep myself busy. Blogging makes me think, it's not a good activity for the time being.

Anyway, DA DANG! My desktop! Sorry for the messy table =). 23" Samsung LCD! It looks much bigger in real life though.

Before my last paper, Teo planned to bring me to Sushi Zanmai. Coincidently, the toilet bowl restaurant was opening that day so we hopped in to give it a try. I can't transfer the photos from my phone, so there's no photo with the dishes in this post. T-T

Teo compliant that the portion is too small, my cheese baked rice is too sour. Well, I'm not sure about his food, my food is average. You give me anything with cheese, I'll love it, but this cheese baked seafood rice is very average, something you can do at home (and will turn out better). The only thing I like is that they are not stingy in giving seafood.

The ice cream there wasn't bad, but according to Teo the waffle at the bottom of the ice cream is disgusting. I didn't eat the waffle, but the fruits which came with the ice cream is awesome. =) Well I love fruit, and fruit can never taste bad unless it's rotten. So, again it doesn't say much about the food there.

So I'm really obsess with xbox 360 lately, and my books. I've finished one of my novel in a day time and am planning to start reading another soon, but not so soon. Daddy will kill me if i finished reading all of them in a week. x)

So I'm playing this game Bayonetta. AWESOME GAME! Long story short, I'm a witch of impure blood who does not remember her past. In order to live I need to hunt the angels down and I kick their ass! Ahh, so fun!! Hmm this game is not recommended to girls though, it's a guy game. It's sexy (skin tight, big breasts, lips licking) and violent (gun gun gun!! blood, torture tools.). Ahhh I'm gonna resume the game later x)

Ultimate Superheroes or something like that is fun too, a co-op game. =D Nice to play it with your friends or siblings. I like SONG BIRD! and STORM! The two characters that I use the most. Currently I use song bird more though.

Oh, remember I said something about baby buying me Duffy right? It's here!!!!

Umm, I look really dead, thanks to finals and funeral. Duffy is saying hi!

Apparently Teo loves him too, but in a very weird way, let's see:

He likes to stuff it underneath his shirt =.=

Okay, I'm gonna hug my Duffy and read while cooking, then after lunch I shall resume gaming! Goodbye people =D

Goodbye from Duffy's mama x)

She's really gone

2010-11-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

I meant to blog this two days ago, but I was really exhausted after sending her off to cremate and the few hours spent in low yat to purchase my new desktop. Plus, I forgot to install the latest java so my blogger took forever to load (Well, actually the posting page won't load at all). Too careless, tsk.

We sent her off to the temple to cremate her on Friday. It's the most heart breaking day I guess, cause the reality forced me to get out from my denial self. When they nailed the coffin I was like 'No no no no no no, there might still be a chance blah blah' and the same thing happened when they push her coffin in for cremation. Total denial. I asked this frequently since 12 years ago, why do live and die and caused pain to people who care. If living things are meant to die what's the point of living? Guess no one will ever figure out the true reason behind, the only thing we had is scientific facts about the circle of life. Even those facts are limited.

After the ceremony, me and my bro went to Low Yat with my cousin bro William to get me a customized desktop. It's real cheap deal, much cheaper than any brand outside and with much better specs. Am not gonna list the specs here, don't think I have that many tech savvy friends. Anyway just umm the common thing, i5, 1TB SATA HD, 4GB DDR3, 23" samsung LCD. 2.6k, including speaker, keyboard and webcam. Awesome, no? Then tell me where you can get it cheaper, I've been going to different websites for a few months to compare prices and specs of different brands, so yea this is the cheapest.

Low Yat, third floor, ALL IT HYPERMARKET. Awesome, although something go wrong when they're testing so it took much longer for it to get done and despite the fact that I feel asleep IN the store while sitting on the stool, it's still damn awesome.

Bro got himself a graphic card (same as mine) Geforce GTS 450, a RAM, and a 21.5" LED.

Can play Dead Rising without LAG! Can play L4D2 without lag! Big Ass screen, AWESOME!

Sigh, I'm still emo-ing. I better stop lurking around like an emo zombie after next Sunday. Some restriction is good I guess, it's not a really good thing to stay depress for too long, cause nothing will change.

I had a bad dream yesterday, not bad actually, it's bad because I said this in my dream "I'll buy you a big LCD screen when I earn big, grandma!" Cause she loves watching dramas. When I woke up, my heart felt empty, and it's not a good feeling.

Third beer down

2010-11-04T23:26:00.001+08:00

It's the second day of the funeral, everything is the same as yesterday. Three chanting on the day, led by the monks. A lot of kneeling and praying and standing up and kneeling and praying. The only difference is that today, the chanting led by monk is organized at the afternoon, and at night, there's some other thing that is similar to that, the difference is we are talking to our deceased grandma, transmitting a message to lead her to heaven.

Honestly, it is a bit painful as my knees are hurt and cut, but I guess it's all worth it if it ensures her to go to heaven. Yea, I'm a free thinker but she was devoted. She used to pray every morning when we're staying at our old place.

Seriously, this is the worst month. I screwed up my paper, my laptop officially died, and my grandma passed away. This is the worst month or week of the year (Yea, all these happen in the same week, and in such order). But now I think of it, she's suffered, her legs are both amputated, one to the knee another to the ankle. She can't stay with her children because we don't have the time and resources to take care of her, she can only stay in those care centre. Yea, it's the best, but I know, it's still not home. I know how it felt.... Being in a place where you stay but it's not home, it's lonely, it's sad....

Well, I guess I'm so truthful and honest about my feeling now is totally due to the alcohol in me. Third beer down, no I'm not drunk, but I'm less guarded. I'm always guarded in front of strangers, people around me know that. I'm mean to strangers, and so it's. actually hard for me to make friends but I don't mind. Too many bad memories and bad people, back then I'd rather to stay alone, so what do you think?

You know in these two days, I only openly cried in the chanting ceremony where I hope no one notice and in the hospital. I'm not used to the openly weeping part, it's weird to me. I don't like to show people my weak side, even though I hate it when people around me expect me to be as tough as metal. I'm still a human....

Most of the time I cried in the washroom, with the shouting and roaring and stuff. Who am I lying to? It hurts you know, when someone who once closed to you died. Even when my cousin bro's ex's father died and I've only seen him once died, I cried. I regret to not communicate with him more that time because now I don't have any chance. He's such a sweet and friendly man.

Sigh, I'll only allow myself to grieve until next Sunday, after that I'll stop it. Yea, it's sad, but we have to resume to out live, nothing will change no matter how many tears I shed, she's gone. No matter how denial I am, whenever I look at her face in the coffin, I know she will not wake up.

Before she died she always says I'm of the age for marriage, actually not age, just the exterior. She always says I'm suitable for marriage, my face and stuff. It'll be so good if she sees me in wedding dress don't you think? But it's not possible anymore.

I shall sign off here and look at her face and cried beside her coffin for the last time. We're sending her body to temple tomorrow to cremate her. Rest in peace grandma, I truly love you, and it hurts.

and I cried again beside her coffin, staring at her face. HURTS SO BAD!

Bad news

2010-11-03T17:26:00.000+08:00

My dad woke me up in the morning, 7 something, and I was quite blur, cause I've only had like 5 hours of sleep? He told me the hospital called, my grandma wasn't doing well.

My grandma was admitted into the hospital on Monday, or Sunday. I haven't had a chance to visit her thanks to finals, the stress and notes and books. Well, it might also due to the fact that she had been admitted in to the hospital multiple times and left it safely. So, I thought this time it would be the same, but clearly it's not.

The traffic is really bad, it's the rush hour, the hospital is far. Before we had a chance to bid our last goodbye, my dad had received a call with the worst news.

On the way there, I did not shed a tear. I wasn't as shaken us as compared to 12 years ago, I thought as I grow older, getting used to the bad news, I would handle things better, but I was wrong again. The sadness and tear hit me when I saw her lying on her bed. I wondered did she slip into the other world peacefully or it's painful? I would hope that death didn't bring her much pain. This time, she's joining my grandpa and uncle, uniting in the other place.

I'm blogging this from the funeral, they have wifi service here. I was quite impressed by how good the services and the various packages offered here.

I was feeling much better now, after telling Teo and when I reached home, told Joel about this. You know, you always need a listener from these three sides, your family, your partner and your friend. I guess I'm really lucky to have all three of them who care about me. Thank you guys, I really appreciate it =)

p/s: I was wondering should I post this up in twitter or facebook, but to me this issue is a tad private to be put up. Blog is a different matter though =\ weird

Disappointed

2010-11-01T16:24:00.001+08:00

Well, it's all my fault I guess? Not trusting my initial interpretation. 8m screwed, I can only lose 6 more marks from the other questions, more than that no more HD.

Lol, what is wrong with me this semester? Making stupid mistakes around. Ya ya, some kinda considered very mild, but this time, 8 marks. Don't kid, it's not a small portion. I think over it again and again, I think I'm totally wrong, sigh.

What if I can't retain my scholarship? Lol, remaining THAT kind of result in Monash isn't that easy huh =\ But this time it's more of careless mistakes. If I lost my scholarship due to my carelessness, I'm prepared to stab myself with a knife, hehe.

Was really tired today, woke up at 6.30am for exam. Law's my third paper, the 8marks screwed up paper. Sigh, last paper will be on 9th of Nov. Hopefully that paper and marketing will pull things up?

I'm not really confident in Macro even though I have only made a small mistake (which I realized), but their marking is "fantastic", no one got HD for Micro. Woohoo, failing rate for Micro is freaking high even though the questions are easy.

Seriously, I'm feeling sorta sad right now, hopefully I'll feel better tonight, I can't dwell on it, yea I know. It's like it's over, I can't do much. No point blaming myself for answering it wrongly, maybe I should trust my instinct more in the future. Sigh, cheers. Pray for me.

Dear John~

2010-10-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

Okay, I think I haven't signed in my blogger for one week plus.

ROARRRRRRRR! Blame the FINALS.

2 down, 2 more to go!

I kinda made one mistake in one of my macro question, hopefully my other questions can cover it up. HOPEFULLY

Did you watch this week's glee? Sam has HOT HOT ABS!!!

Currently is addicted to Dear John by Taylor Swift

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young to be messed with

The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

You should've known

It's quite amazing and annoying how one song can remind you those good/bad memories

Especially those which you don't want to remember EVER

Dear someone

You know my heart was too weak to be messed with

The girl with her broken heart

broken twice in such a short time

cried her lungs out

I wasn't pissed back then, just sad

But I'm a tiny weeny bit now lol

You know you should not mess with my feelings that time

After what I've gone through

and your 'status'

But sort of thank you cause I met someone who picked my heart up

Pasted my heart back

Though there are cracks on my heart

But you know I saw this vase that have cracks all over it

Apparently they did it in purpose

Who says broken thing is necessarily bad?

It can be AWESOME AS HELL!

Finals please go away fast

SHOO SHOO

But it's awesome though,

have McD before first test

Sushi Zanmai before today's test

Hehehe, thinking about that cheers me up

LOTS.

Lots of nerdy photos

papers

books

wastes?

piling in my room

But am too lazy to transfer it from my cam

I miss my HTC!!!

When will they done repairing it. ISH

I'm B.O.R.E.D

2010-10-22T00:17:00.002+08:00

Yea, I know I should be studying, shut up *sobs*

I'm always more hardworking WAY BEFORE finals

and bloody lazy when there's only like one week to finals?

Yea, my dad thinks I didn't score 'good enough' cause of that

I'm so bored, I finally started transferring photos from like at least 2 months back

from my camera to my laptop.

188 photos O.O

And I was neglecting my camera for some time

and I actually ignored those 'useless photos'.

it's really way too much of them

So I only transferred those which are meaningful

to me at least.

Da dang! I forgot which blogshop was that

they actually went to Monash and set up a booth to sell their accessories

I think they're still selling, are they?

Ah, I don't remember.

Anyway, I bought this like 2 months ago I think.

BIG ASS ROBOT EARRINGS!

It's not that big, but reallly shiny and heavy. =\

Quality is really good though, crystals are still intact.

Hate it when the crystals started falling off after one day, or half a day.

Did I post this photo up back then?

Never mind, it doesn't hurt.

SIX books from MPH membership weekend thingy.

Haven't started reading ANY OF THEM.

Cause once I start I'll never stop.

Haven't been downloading games lately too.

Once I start I'll never stop.

CAN'T SCEW UP FINALS.

Yea. Leave the books alone *sobs*

Going to Monash tomorrow!

Supposedly I have no class but Dr Crystal advised us to attend her tute

so, grrrr, gotta wake up early again.

I'm gonna go there with a colorful cap

I had this for one year, but it's so colorful I only wore it once so far lol

I wore it right after I bought it from EchoPark, at Pyramid

People are shooting me the "weirdo passing-by" look.

But well, I think it's nice, Joel thinks it's nice too

He's dying to see me with that

I think he just wants to laugh at me and says

"This is so awesome"

Meanie =D

Okay finals soon, and I'm thinking about what to do after that.

Work (Dec)

Music video

Complete my 'art work' which is not artsy at all

revamp my blog

check Ikea out

Penang, hopefully Jing is going that time

Plan to work my ass off so I can afford the study table

and the desktop

and with extra savings

So, only half a month to relax

It's dead boring to stay at home for 3 months anyway

I won't go out much, so tempting to spend when I'm out

Need to fork out money from bank to go Penang *sobs*

Colorful cap tomorrow!! Weeee

I hate bitter herbal tea

they make my brain go cuckoo

ehehehehehe

那些女孩教我的事

2010-10-21T13:35:00.001+08:00

重复的播放着这一首歌，我问自己，现在你还有来这儿吗？

曾经我以为你不在了，可原来你只是静静的读着，读着我对你的谩骂和思念。

可现在你应该不在了吧？偶尔去看了下你，你和女朋友似乎过得很好。

我想起了那天我说，“答应我你要好好对她，不再让她伤心。”

假装大方么？多的是愧疚吧……即使我们没有正式的来往，可我们都做错了。

那一次最后一次在电话你说的话，要你答应照顾你女朋友的诺言，让我死心了……

曾经爱过你，也恨过你，也恨过自己……

爱上了一个很温柔很温柔可有女朋友的人

恨着有女朋友还日夜陪伴我的人

恨着明知道自己过分温柔，明知道被我爱上，还继续温柔的人

恨过自己违背原则，爱上你，伤害了三个人……

忘不了那天你想要揉我撞伤的额头的样子

忘不了我们眼睛对上时，你发现我们都错了

忘不了你只是轻扫我的头发，缓缓地转身了

那时我知道……我的心会再一次被伤害……

撕碎的电影票和日记本，删除的信息和聊天记录

你说，你没法和我继续交朋友，因为你会越来越喜欢我，可你不可以……

你选择了伤害我，因为她在你身边太久了……

我对着荧幕轻笑，我知道最后一定会这样……

即使你曾说过，“或许我们会分手。”

我知道……你是骗我的……

你给我喝的鸡汤，你买给我的饼干，你等我入眠的晚上

怀念……不过这也已经成了回忆

看着你，听着这首歌，没了心痛，心碎，心伤

我找到了一个人和我相伴

可爱过的人总会明了，真正爱过，是没可能忘记以往

或许那是我们无法和以前一样畅谈的原因……

或许那是我们无法自然，释怀的看着对方微笑的原因……

即使站在身旁也只会看着另一个方向……

或许这只是我一个人心里的感觉……

可至少不痛了，不哭了……

偶尔回忆着，至少也曾开心……

至少我不爱你了……只是怀念着以前的谈天说地

只希望现在幸福的我，可以找回之前的你，继续和幸福的你，做朋友……

可我知道，没可能了。

你教我忘记该忘，伤心太伤

可你也让我心伤了……

真是的，你的温柔帮倒忙了

Head hurts T-T

2010-10-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

Slept at like 3am yesterday, woke up at 8, forgot my breakfast and enzyme.

A freaking ungentleman bastard in uni who Joel calls a faggard. Lol see, he's mean XD

Talk talk talk, he has class at 11am T-T

And I'm stoning there alone with this netbook as my company and my forgot to put the dramas into this netbook. Mega fail!!

It's going to be 12pm sooooon, maybe I should slowly go grab some fish fingers and fill up my bottle etc etc and head to marketing revision class.

I hate macro revision class, it's from 4 to 6 ROAR

Religion

2010-10-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

"Are you a christian?"

She's not the first to ask me that.

I'm not a Christian, I was a Buddhist. Some people will say there's no such thing as WAS a buddhist, but there is to me. I used to believe, and I've lost faith, but I still believe in hell, ghosts, evil spirits, so I think I'm a free thinker.

I was actually telling my friend what I think about people forcing one to fit in one of the religion and it made me sick today. Religion is considered as one of the sensitive issue in Malaysia I guess, especially this year with cases around and stuff. I saw someone posted a facebook video about this issue, I didn't watch it but from what the description and what my friend commented about, it's not something pretty. It's yet another offensive talking, that I do not want to waste my time watching and waste my energy feeling angry.

Coincidently, I found out about the video today after I'm home from Monash, which is also the day I discussed this kind of issue with my friend.

I was telling her I don't get why people you know split themselves into religions and looked at other people from other religion differently. I have Christian friends, Buddhist friends, Muslims, no Hindi I think. I love them all the same, they're equally awesome, and when they suck all of them sucks. It's not the religion, it's their personality, it never is about the religion. It's true that religion makes you a better person, in some cases, but there's no such thing as some religion made people bad or worse than those who believe differently.

I had some really sucky experience from 'this' religion.

But before that let me tell you these. First of all, I don't hate people who believe in their gods, and second of all, I used to think there's no such thing as my god is the best cause to me they might as well are the same people. It's the different culture and beliefs that brought the religion out and split it. Lastly, even though I'm not such a big believer of their existence, I do not go around and kicked my friends ass and comment about their stupidity of believing in god. Duh, that's respect! People believe in different things, if I don't step all over your beliefs and religion, don't cross mine.

You know, some fellow told me that I'll go to hell because I'm a free thinker. Well, they said the same when I changed my story and told them I'm Buddhist.

You know what, if you believe in hell, I guess you're the one who're going to hell when you bring such statement up.

I don't mind when my friend ran to me cheerfully to ask if I'm interested in joining their religion cause they sympathize me for being a lost kid with no god whatsoever to depend on. Well, I prefer to depend on myself, and even if I pray, I pray to my grandpa. I've been doing that for years, and that's what Chinese do anyway, just I minus the god part and focus more in ancestors. Okay, back to the story, I appreciate your kindness but if I'd say no once, don't come again. Don't BOTHER me. I respect you, and your love to your god, give me my space, show some respect back before I tear your hair off for pissing me off.

Seriously, respect each other's religion! Everyone has their right to believe in something and NOT believe in something. So for believers, don't bother the non-believers. Everyone does something with a reason, when we think we need help, one day we'll seek for the help, but when we don't, leave us. Sure you can try, ONCE is enough. Plus, there's always a story behind everyone's decision. I've lost faith so much, I don't know when a certain something will knock me over and bring back my old dedicated-self. From what I see now, not so soon, and part of it thanks to people who kept saying that not believing to god is going to send me right to hell. Yea, you guys really offended me, thank you, you can go now.

Okay, back to the point, respect each other, respect! I don't hate my friends who are from different religion, cause if you do that, you'll practically have very little friends, and trust you, you don't want to experience the lonely phase in life. It sucks so badly.

Every religion is worth respecting, there's nothing more superior than the other. If you think there is, something is wrong with your mind, or the person who preached you. The common fact about all religions is PEACE. Bringing peace to life, seriously, I don't think building a hierarchy based on religion is going to bring any peace, it's bringing war.

Plus, it doesn't hurt to respect other people's religion. Let's have some peaceful life. Drama is no longer fun when it's been fueled up so badly it brings war, love dramas? Watch gossip girls, desperate housewives, don't flame people and blame people when shitty things happened. You may think you're not responsible over that, but indeed you are.

Ohya, and even though I have no specific religion, still, respect my decision. Forcing me to join yours is not respecting. Plus, it'll make me dislike your religion, so it's actually a bad thing to do. But I still love you if you're my friend =))

My brain in finally working fine

2010-10-18T18:13:00.000+08:00

I'm lying on my bed hoping my netbook's battery will not fail me before I've completed jamming on my keyboard for this post while waiting for my dad to be back for work so we can go for a healthy jog/hiking. Yes, I'm a very filial daughter I know =D

These past few weeks, sometimes I haven't been acted quite like myself. I'm losing my hold on my emotion and stuff, talking too much and too weirdly (which is normal if I'm close to them) to people who I'm not really close to, have difficulty telling people what I'm trying to say (and so they interpreted it the wrong way).

I sort of catch a glimpse of my weird action and psychotic mind past few days but the true realization just came to me this morning, when I'm hugging my netbook in book shop waiting for Joel to photostat the assignment. I was asking myself why the awkward conversations and weird behavior, just to realize that I've not really been myself for these past weeks.

I've been quite whiny to people close to me, a bit too whiny to me. I hate people who whine too much in front of their friends and practically DO NOTHING about their problems. That's pretty much why I don't have much girl friends. I was whining so much in front of Joel and Teo, it's like my emo season. Lucky me, Joel did not block me in MSN or shunned me in university. And he and Teo are pretty much THE ONLY TWO people who know what have been bothering me so much lately, no it's not exam.

Second realization, the fact that I've lost her totally, wholly has just hit me right on my face. I didn't want to believe it despite what others have told me, cause I really want it to stay. Like REALLLLLLLY. I told myself oh it's because of this and that, hardly can contact and stuff. Ya, I lied to myself, so i won't feel.... sad? But then I found those lies are sooo weak and poor.

I don't hang out with Joel much outside uni, not even once. We only have 2 same classes. But funnily Monash brings us together, lol. We weren't that close in MUFY. And my other friends too, we meet each other once a few months, and we don't sms each other much cause I'm busy and they're busy too. Yet, whenever we meet, it's the same closeness, a lot to talk about. I love you Helen XD

Maybe I just need to stop looking back and hoping and dwelling in the bubbles. =))

Gotta work hard this holiday to save up for a new study table. RM700 I think, or 800. Awesome white study table from IKEA, but I couldn't find the product in their online catalogue, weird~. Then after I got myself a study table I might be getting a desktop the end of next year OR my third year. Sigh, and I'm saving maybe a few thousand so I can go to some affordable awesome trip when I officially graduate from honours.

I better not change my phone if it still works, laptop and table are more urgent indeed. =(( Yu Hong will you buy my laptop since you said the streaks of color lines in the middle of my screen is cool?

Get Over It

2010-10-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

I should probably stop looking at people's birthday celebration's photos and go... aw.... i'm so fucking jealous. They have such endearing friends. Aw... I just realized I have no friends =DD

Seriously, I better stop before I went all the way and point my finger to all my friends for being shitty. Cause in fact I know SOME of them treat me really really really well.

Get over it, get over it, get over it.

Lol, if I annoyed you cause this is the second time I posted something about my friends + my birthday. No apology =D You suck!

Hahahahaha, cause for anyone who know me well, they know how important I view my birthday as. And if you think I think it's important cause it's my birthday, it's the day I'm born? Screw you. You're not my friend =) Not close enough I mean. You suck =\ if you realized how I view that day and still....

Lalalalalalala, shower time

I hate you

2010-10-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

SOOOOOOO MUCH I WANNA CURSE YOU TO D.E.A.T.H.

You never cared, you don't fucking care about important stuffs, people's feelings, your wife's feelings, your children feelings. Yea, you're fucking biased too.

You only care about those things which you know you can RUIN it all. When these moments came up, you'll act as if you're a good daddy and fucking ruin every single good things on EARTH.

Seriously, you're no fucking dad, you're like someone who supply another person loans to survive and study for like 20+++ years, hoping the loans will not turn bad and it'll be repay every month.

FUCK YOU JERK!

And knowing you, ruined my supposedly awesome life. You SUCK

No, he's not my dad. My dad's awesome.

HYPOCRITEEEEEEE!!

2010-10-15T15:16:00.000+08:00

Lol I'm stress, okay I should stop saying this. I'm feeling a little hyper today, slept at like 11pm and woke up at 10 something. Tried to roll back to sleep but I failed.

I enjoy blog hopping and it's rather fun when I read a certain post which linked back to another post maybe a month ago? Linked in such of a way which spells hypocritical.

Some people complaint about facebook is turning to another friendster, and after a few weeks his/her facebook friends flew up to thousands 0.0
He/she actually stated so clearly about "I don't understand why people keep adding people they don't know! Isn't facebook about connecting with people you ACTUALLY know?"
Yea, it is. But you certainly don't understand what that means then. =]
Maybe it's because you want to get famous, blah blah blah, then set up a fan page =D

just don't criticize those people who add like thousands of strangers cause you just joined their tribe.

And you know some people kept complaining that some certain blogs are so commercialized?

BANG!

When they got a chance of of being like them, their blogs go true blue commercial.

Check what you wrote few days/weeks ago before you write something which completely threw your initial thoughts to the utter opposite.

Just my opinion =))

Okay back to my revision T-T

Weeehehehe hahahahahahaha

2010-10-13T22:05:00.000+08:00

"Stare at hair end, frustrated, freaking dried end, starting taking out scissors to cut my hair*
Kane turned his head, "Are you cutting your hair?" *lift one of his eye brow*
"Yea." *big fat smile* In my head 'Why am I doing this in class?'

"I can't drink coffee, my stomach will feel funny after that."
Joel Brown, "really?"
"Ya, it'll start laughing."
I forgot what he said but it's not something nice =)

"Where's the lazy...... thing?"
"What? Lazy thing? You're so mean!!!"
"Yea, what do you call him?"
"Faggot."
"You're meaner."
"NOOOOOOO."

Taking a break, watching glee and I'll be back to my book. *Shot myself in the head =)*

Weee

2010-10-12T21:20:00.001+08:00

I still love all my friends weeeeee. I'm stress, hehehehe but I mean it =)

Good friends are hard to come by

2010-10-12T11:40:00.001+08:00

I was going through some random friends photo album in engineering lecture and it made me go awwwww. Yea I attend his lecture for fun, I have two hours break :/

I'm lucky to have family who are willing to spend and splurge money for my birthday.
I have a boyfriend who tries his best to make my everything perfect, including my birthday.
But I have no friends to celebrate my birthday this year lol. The one person who wished me on my birthday is someone I'm not really close to. Ya it's important for me to know my friends care.

Goodbye

Oh wait I missed my birthday celebration this year. I love them!! :) even though we do not have the chance to meet up frequently, they care.
We only meet up like once or twice in three months top :)

So active again?

2010-10-11T15:57:00.000+08:00

I guess it's the stress. It pretty much striped off my laziness, the wrong kind though. Lol, I'm still a tad too lazy to revise more to catch up with my schedule, instead I paid more attention in blogging. Maybe it just helped me to release stress more? No?

Monday is my.. umm short day. I only have 2 lectures, which are from 9am to 12 pm. After business law class, I've chose to skip my business data modelling. It's umm.. boring? And I'm reallllly tired.

After messing around with the Jo jo they all at the computer lab, we went to get my phone fixed. Okay so far, the Indian lady told me the warranty cover the screen defect. However, they did not perform any check on my phone, ie water damage check, so they might drop me a message and tell me I need to pay up for it T.T. I'm hoping that's not the case, cause if my phone can be fixed FREE, Imma use it for quite some time, maybe until third year or something since I have 2 years warranty, which is until 3rd year March. Good thing it is, wasted all my effort to search information about blackberry. ROAR!

Oh ya the sad thing... I forgot to copy all my contacts from my phone back to my simcard after I switched to Maxis.... So I've lost EVERYONE'S number. Errr.. hopefully they did not hard reset my phone so the numbers will still be inside. If not, ummm it's pretty much hell =))
See, only 5 contacts, and that's like useless contact so... T-T

After spending a few minutes to send my phone for repair we dropped by the Jusco outside my house to get this night essence from Loreal Paris. RM37 (150ml) for one, quite reasonably priced for me if it really works.

You know before I bought this product I went to check reviews about it cause I'm too bored (and lazy to flip my books). I came across this review in beauty website which kept stressing about this essence is EXPENSIVE. "I'LL ONLY BUY THIS IF I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY." I was like '-.-' when I read that review..... This does not cost RM100.... If you truly care about your hair, this is like nothing.
My hair is bloody damaged hahahahahahaha, so yea, I've been spending quite a bit to try to make it better, sigh.

Might be chopping off my layer during finals or dyeing it then chopping the layers off during finals. Umm, it all depends on my hair condition that time, and how rebellious I am. Apparently parents have been nagging me about the hair dying thing cause my scalp has problem blah blah blah. Sigh, chop off? Dye and chop off? Hmm

No not getting short hair, just trimming the layer so the hair will be way "tidier". Okay I better start doing my allocation for next year now.

Have you done yours? =)

My sad sad HTC phone

2010-10-10T11:39:00.000+08:00

I've always been complaining about my phone but umm I think only 3 people have seen the object that have made me go GAHHHHH I WANT A BLOODY NEW PHONE!!!!!!!

Can see the thumb-sized and thumb-framed spots and the weird clusters at the bottom? Yea, at the beginning it's just the thumb-framed spot, with only one layer of light grey spots. It's obvious when I'm messaging (the white background) but it's very bearable THAT TIME. Now the spots I don't know have sex among themselves, got so intensify and give birth to some lump that is definitely GROWING. Ish, this is annoying.

At first the clusters at the bottom didn't seem to matter much and the thumb-framed spots was not really disrupting the words until I realized my on screen keyboard has lost a few symbols that I always use. BANG, the freaking clutter cover at least 2 of the symbols. Grrrrrrrrr.

So I actually have this conversation with Jo Jo, should I go try my luck with the provider to demand for a free repair (warranty) or just get a new phone lol. The thing is, HTC don't generally warrant for the screen defects, checked this online as their warranty is limited warranty. And you know my phone operations based solely on the screen. It's touch-screen phone ROAR! So the screen replacement gonna cost a bomb if they're charging me for that (just assuming).
Lastly, I don't trust their products. I used it for like half a year of slightly more than that, shit happened to my screen. How could I possibly know that it would not happen again. But if I'm lucky enough to get a warranty, then weee I won't change my phone THAT SOON. Maybe beginning of third year provided no such thing happens again.

But if they're going to charge me, I'm gonna go get another phone early next year, or maybe after March. The thing is I'm not sure I'm hoping for a warranty or not, it's like you know~ never mind. Lunch time!! Or breakfast lunch time!

I should really start preparing for my finals T-T

2010-10-09T18:28:00.001+08:00

I left my house at 10:45am today and I'm back at 6.00pm. Long day out, was not expecting to be out that long though, I forgot the distance from my house to one utama takes at least 45 minutes *sob*.

So, the main reason I go to One Utama is for the MPH members weekend. All novels are 20% off for members, hehe this is so rewarding!!! Since finals coming, I pretty much need a lot of novels to fill in the days that I'm not working. So I bought a total of 6 novels, was trying real hard to stop picking up every single book written by the authors I like. But 6 novels should be enough, right, right? I remembered I've once finished 3 books like in 3 or 4 days during holiday. I didn't dare to tell my dad that T.T.

Even though e-book is really cool, but I prefer to read the mixture of both, hehe. 'Traditional' books are my favourite during holiday and e-books are the best for uni day (yay, for the portability!)

Sushi Zanmai is situated right in front of MPH, so cool right? Lol, double convenient. (I forgot to bring my camera out. No, actually I couldn't find my camera so i didn't get to bring it out). Had awesome lunch in Zanmai again, hehe as usual. Their food is awesome and it's always packed.

After lunch and book-picking, we walked to the Central Park outside One Utama. I heard there's some Pet's exhibition or event there so I went to check it out. A lot of freaking cute cats and dogs there, omg! Some of them are for adoption, some are from the owners. They're so so cute =)))). I love animals, but my family has nose allergy and our house is basically empty most of the time, so it's not really suitable to keep a pet. I want a kitten, or puppy, or both!!!!!

Blah blah blah blah~ It's time for our movie! Legend of the Fist! It's nice, yet another hatred-fueling movie, but it's still awesome, despite the hatred-fueling part. Hehe, the action is nice, the storyline is fast-paced, there's some humor inside.

Okay I'm sleepy and I should really really really start studying for finals. Finals in two weeks time, SHRIEK! Wasn't doing much revision due to my sickness, better get my brain moving now. Good luck Monashians! Wish me luck too!!!

MPH~

2010-10-08T15:52:00.000+08:00

MPH is having like 20% discount for all the books from 8 to 11 October. Members only, I think, I think.

Since I'm dying to grab some books to read, I'm gonna go to OU tomorrow. =p Teo said it's the biggest MPH store in Selangor area, so~ OU it is =D

Someone's getting me a Duffy Bear!!!! WEEEHEEEEEEE =D Duffy is a bear which is only sold in Disney Sea, Tokyo. The only way to purchase it if you don't have the budget to go to Tokyo is through the website minimaos. It's RM140 for 40cm, not really cheap for a bear, but it's sort of, kinda unique and cute. Weehee I love my baby =p

Was being super emotional yesterday and sick. Am feeling much better now though, hehe =))

"Breathe" Taylor Swift - Cause none of us thought it would gonna end that that way, people are people and sometimes we change our mind, but it's killing to see you after all this time~
*sweeeeeet

And you said

2010-10-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

You want to see me in bridal dress
You want to know who is the lucky guy
You want to give me away
You will live till that day
You broke your promise

When I'm 7 I said, "It's okay, if you come back now, come back, then I'll forgive you,"
When I'm 19 I say, "It's okay, just come back, just for one second, and talk to me for this one time, then I'll forgive you."

When I'm 7 I thought, 'Why are you dead, why not those who hated me died?"
When I'm 19 I think, 'I know there's no logic in it, but I still want you to be here instead....'

When I'm 7 I doubted what I believed in, I turned and walked away from my religion.
When I'm 19 I'm completely way off and think it might be better that way.

When I'm 7, this chased me and forced to wear a mask, be independent, grow up.
When I'm 19 and I looked back, I realized that's the reason why I wanted to do kiddie things just once in a while.

When I'm 7 I told myself everything is okay.
When I'm 19 I know it'll never be okay.

When I'm 7 I prayed every night before I sleep, so he'll come to my dream.
When I'm 19 I realized I was stupid cause I knew prayer doesn't work, funny I took 12 years to realize that.

I was 7... I'm 19... It doesn't change a bit, the pain, the hole, the tears, the place you occupied. I miss you.... dreadfully.....

Falling sick

2010-10-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

Before finals, so not cool. Sigh, gotta drink more water, eat less fried food, and no more koko krunch for breakfast T-T.

Am NOT IMPRESS with Maxis. Their rate is way more expensive than digi, okay maybe not that much, but the rate is definitely more expensive. But but but, Monash basement classes are bitches. Digi totally has no service down there, Digi's bad =(

But Maxis people is rather inefficient as well. My dad photostated his ic and credit card there, but then they fucking didn't record it or something, the auto-bill payment is not on. Bloody hell! I went there to check with them and asked if I can just use my credit card to apply for the auto-bill payment and they said I have to have my dad's photostated ic and credit card. I was like wtf, I gave you on the first day when I transfer my line to Maxis, thinking it's a good decision. They just freaking made me think I'm stupid to transfer my line.

I have been read about complaints regarding Maxis, just didn't know they're THAT bad. Their website is pretty much bullshit cause they didn't renew it. I can't find the F&F thing cause the menu shown on the website is completely different as what is shown on my phone screen. And when digi provides that FOC, I need to pay RM8 for that =). I'm not sure only for first subscription or it's a monthly thing, still not cool. Celcom provides it FOC too I think, even if not, at least they provide more than ten, and not limited to same network. Okay, It's time for me to bang my wall now =))

Probably getting a blackberry curve 9300 3G next year if I can't get a warranty for my bloody HTC, and if I'm planning to get BBM only, I guess I'll transfer to Celcom. Their deals are quite good, their website is messy though. Let's see how it goes next year. Sigh, I did not expect to spend money on my phone next year.

The truth is the truth, no matter how eager I seem to be checking out the available phones, I do that almost everyday every month. I don't want to fucking just get a new phone cause I'm a phone freak. Yea, I promised my parents I'll use my HTC for as long as possible. But I don't expect the screen will fail me within a year! Seriously, I thought you know me better, rubbing the promise in my face just made me think that I don't know you anymore, not as much maybe. Because apparently when I talked to someone else, they will try to be in my shoes and give me suggestion rather than mocking me. Tsk =\

Rant rant RANTTTTTTTTTTT!!

2010-10-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

I'm in the middle of how I met your mother season 6 episode 3, but I'm in need to rant lol.
I just woke up like 30 minutes ago, still feeling bloody tired. I think I'm officially sick, hehehehehehe. Okay, fine I'm really sick, I've been doing the hehehehehehe thing in msn =.= A LOT. I better stop before anyone thinks I'm sick in the head.

Finals coming, there's like super stressful and kinda scary which caused me to fall sick. Okay not it's not Monash, it's the fried food which I downed during holiday and pizza hut awesomeness Deli Wing which I ate... pretty much all... by myself. KARMA!!! T-T

I'm so stress I'm ranting about my freaking dried hair in twitter. Okay I think I'm a litttttttle bit sick in the head =\. So you know I straightened my hair the end of last year, end of September I think and dyed my hair at the same time. Ya, I suck =.=. Then this year, I dyed my hair to my current color by going to someone who I used to trust. She was good, her hair dye pretty much doesn't hurt my hair at all. The color came out really nice and it makes my hair looks smoother. But this time I paid for the bloody best quality hair dye and my hair got striped dry. I'm still gonna dye my hair the end of this year though, trying not to dye it during finals, better let my hair get better first. The fact that it breaks and tangles a lot late breaks my heart. This just never happened in my life before. My hair never tangles and breaks T-T.
Gotta chop off the damaged and dried end after I dyed my hair the end of the year. Being sick makes my hair worse, and I might be taking medicine to be sure I won't fall very sick will make it worse.
I may not be the girliest girl, but my hair is pretty much what I care the most it's the second thing I spent most of my money on.

Let's jump to a very random topic. My HTC screen was having some weird ass problem now, there's weird green dots on my screen. Three of them, one is like thumb shaped, green dots which build up the frame of the thumb. The middle of the thumb is clear, so can still see words. The near bottom has like three dots, which are very dense. It blocked like one to 2 alphabets, so that part is very bitchy.
My HTC is still under warranty, it's just half a year plus, but it's stated there that only manufactured defect will be warranted. But this won't stop me from going to the SiS to check it out, if I'm lucky and they warrant it, I'll keep using it until maybe after third year (provided it doesn't go dead again). If not, and if the repair is going to be costly which I think it would cause my phone is like touch screen phone, and if they're going to change the screen, it's gonna cost like freaking lot. If it's like 200 to 300 or more than that, I think I'll use it until I can't take it anymore, or until I can't read anymore and I'll get a blackberry. Not planning to get data plan though, not much of my close friends using data plan, don't wanna waste on that.
Hopefully, they'll warranty it, hopefully, the screen won't get worse that fast, hopefully the repair is under 200. T-T

Okay, time to go back to drama! Waiting for glee to complete and I'm gonna watch it later =))

Taking down the chatbox

2010-10-06T07:01:00.000+08:00

Rather than letting some bloody spammer to spam my chatbox I'm gonna take it down.

Actually I have at least 5 to 7 posts in my words, just didn't bother to post up any.....

Teehee~ If you're wondering why am I here up so early, I slept at like 8pm yesterday, after I came straight back from the owl owl movie. Had a few bad sleeps for a few night, was really drained yesterday.

Oh, owl owl damn cool!! 3D effect is cool too, and they're SUPERRRRR CUTE. But I can't remember all their names, some are really hard to remember and pronounce. =\ Still coool =)

The 1 year mark =)

2010-09-04T19:26:00.000+08:00

Today is our 1st anniversary, so cool heh? Time flies by sooo fast. This year has been a hectic year for us, adapting to uni life, the never ending assignment and finals. Sometimes I do have doubts you know. Sometimes I can feel the love inside, it runs so deep, it's never ending. Sometimes, I just can't feel it, something has just blocked it, blocked it from my mind, I can't sense it, I'm agitated, annoyed, and lost. Love is a roller coaster cause it's in our life. It goes to the peak and you'll experience a fall, a sudden fall, but it'll always goes up. The best thing of all, roller coaster spend more time reaching the peak and spend like seconds to pass through the fall. So, it's cool. So when we say life is like roller coaster it means it has ups and downs, and it also means that we'll spend more of our life in happiness than in sadness, if you have the right mindset.

The photos are still in my camera, it's mostly food though, we don't have much chance to capture our photos.
So today I went to Monash (He has some replacement class which falls on our big day, annoying not?) then Empire Shopping Gallery for RAKUZEN (the food is awesomeness awesome), then Pyramid for piranha (the show is... I'll tell you next time. =) ) finally we're back to his house.

He's cooking now and I need to spend some time to finish up my stuff, next week is a busy week, 2 tests, an assignment due on Monday, another on Tuesday. Shitty not?

So, till then, bye =D

Freezing

2010-09-02T10:20:00.000+08:00

Yeap, I'm freezing in Monash's library waiting for Joel to come like thirty minutes ago, and he'll only probably be here 1 hour later. Sigh...

We're going to discuss about business law later, and having him as my partner in the assignment is awesome. I used to do everything when it spelled out group works while others laze on (I'm not saying every time or every group work or whatsoever, don't get too sensitive =p). Ohya, he hasn't dug out his brother's past assignment yet. Er, never mind, we gonna look for his tutor later anyway, let's hope we can solve our questions and stuffs.

Hmm, I don't know why I hate her so much, like so fucking much and I got seriously annoyed even when I see her name appear on my wall (and so I hide it). By the way, no it's not my friends, it's my boyfriend's friend. =)

Things are kinda hard this month for me. Brother is thinking like a kid again, oh so naive and thinks every job will suits him well and be something he's interested in. FACE IT, I'm studying a course I hate, so stop asking for so many things. *chilllll chilllll* Dad got robbed and was hurt badly, fuck those bitches' sons. We're still waiting for my mum's medical report from the doctor....

Okay BRIGHT SIDE! My birthday is coming soon, so soon it's next Monday but my business law assignment is due next Tuesday, which translates to everyone will be too busy doing assignment. And when everyone's busy doing their assignments I'll be having a freaking cool weekends. This Saturday is our annual anniversary, we're hitting the first year mark! SO FAST!! Hehe, the celebration is not as romantic or as cool or as unique as our past celebration but the present is what I've put all my effort in. No Teo, I'm not going to tell you what I'm giving you or doing for you. Sunday my family is going to celebrate my birthday with me, JAPANESE BUFFET!!!!! Weehee woohooo, and without any unexpected situation, we'll be going to watch The Expendables (finally).

So I better finish up my assignment today or tomorrow and spend some time prettify it and check it on Monday and everything will be cool then. I hope we're hitting the right pave and we'll get some real cool marks! After so many things happened, I CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT lose my scholarship. =(

Okay, bye I should proceed on making his present before Jo jo comes =D

I hate her =\ like freaking hate her and I don't know why

2010-08-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog on Friday and Saturday, ya, wanted, but was too lazy to even sign in my blogger. =)

Let me think hard what had I done these few days? Esther was complaining about my absent on msn. I was out most of these days, a lot of family shopping or gathering or just plain movie and window shopping =p.

Friday... Err, I don't know what holiday it is, I don't care, as long as there's a holiday it's cool. But.. It doesn't make much different to me since I don't have any class on that day as well. And the public holidays are quite annoying as we're following the Australia's calendar, we are required to go for replacement classes and resheduled our whole week again (for like dates/going out/movie).

Okay back to Friday, my bro, Teo and I went to Sunway Pyramid. We wanted to go BBQ plaza at first, but we're going to have steamboat that night so we went to Pasta de Gohan instead. AWESOMENESS!!! I forgot what they order other than a vague recall of spaghetti and something with beef bacon lol. I was having Gratin, my all-the-time pick!!! Super cheesy, with lots of prawns and chicken (as compared to the size of plate which is kinda small), super filling!!

After that, I went for shoe-hunting! Dying to get a pair of heels since last year but my money was spent on buying phone and ummm a lot of things which I don't remember. Hehe, bought a <3 heels (lazy to take photos) and my bro paid for it. Actually, it is my birthday present, ya, one week early birthday present =p.
Major <3!! Both present and my bro =p

Then then.... errr I remember we went to find something for my bro, what's that again? Hmm.... mangas? Oh ya, and check out some specs! We spent like damn long inside and he didn't get anything. I bet the sales girl will be cursing us after we left. Sighhhhhhhhh

Dinner! Steamboat buffet at Flames (somewhere near my house). Fresh food, quite a lot of varieties, all those things. Had it with Uncle Gary his son and his... relative's son.

Saturday!!! Badminton with Bobo, Dic and don't know the rest of the three, no Hi and Bye, no name exchanging and stuff. After that, lunch at umm.. a green mamak at kk. =D nice nasi lemak! The guys ate a lot.
Bobo had umm... roti telur and nasi lemak, Dic: nasi lemak and mee goreng, Teo same as Bobo just reverse it. =D Dinner with dad, mummy was at Terengganu, bro was out, Teo dumped me for his friends. I forgot where the place was, great chicken rice though!

Sunday, which is TODAY!!! This is like the most awesome day out of these three days. We had dim sum at Ah yat Bao Yu, loads and loads of siu long bao, awesome black pepper beef, and errr actually we ordered like freaking a lot of food cause there are like 11 of us, but I was just stuffing the siu long bao down my throat so yea. =D
My bro needs to lose weight badly, we can't get him any shirt from Tangs at Pavilion cause he's fat these days =p. Go get the ice creams from MOF if you go Pavilion!!!

I'm getting sleepy again..... picked my mum up after that and she bought like damn a lot of fruits, longkong, duku langsat, and umm i forgot. =D

Okay bye

Robbers should die!!!!

2010-08-26T12:49:00.000+08:00

Last year or two years ago, there's this friend of my aunt unfortunalty had become a victim of snatched theft. She's rich, the money loss will not be as bad but nothing beats the physical injury caused by the useless thief. Her bag was snatched by a thief at I forgot where and that uselss bugger pushed her and caused her to drop into a drain, suffering major head damage from knocking over the floor. Fuck you thief, because of you she has suffered short term memory loss and her memory has got so bad these days the doctor said it's PERMANENT. Stupid bastard, you have no money either go find some job or kill yourself, being unemployment burden all of the tax payers and if you become a thief, you bring down the city's rep and you should just KILL YOURSELF!!
The second time she fell on the ground, being dragged by the stupid motorcyclish. you know what, it'll be a fantastic news if you died due to a car crash. You totally deserve that. And the family members of the thieves? Don't pretend you don't know it's been happening, if you guys stay together, especially the wives, it's your fault as well if this all happens. Let's pray that karma will bring both of you down kay =) Die together or whatsoever. Dying is a punishment too light for you guys as there are so many people who has suffered thanks to you brainless idiots. Some people needs the money for emergency and you robbed them, you hurt them, sometimes you KILLED them. Seriously, if you know your husband is a total dumbass and incapable in using his own brain, lock him in the house, or just forge a natural death. HIDING THE TRUTH MAKES YOU A WORSE CRIMINAL THAN THE ONE DOING THE DIRTY JOBS.

Acutally I wasn't that pissed when I heard all the stories and saw the wounds on the victim. I was enraged yesterday when my dad came back with wounds on his elbow and the wounds are fucking huge and disgusting. It's bloody painful! Plus a swollen knee. His knee cap is injured, he's not young anymore, injury to bones cause so many troubles if it didn't recover after this.
He came out from a bank with bags in his car. Three or four stupid fuckers came and knocked his window and told him his back wheel has some defect. He went down, they grabbed his two bags. Yea, duh, my dad wasn't really cautious enough when they approached him. BUT DO WE NEED TO BE SO FUCKING DOUBTFUL OF PEOPLE WHEN THOSE FUCKING ROBBERS DIDN'T ATTEMPT TO ROB US AT ANY MINUTES? If this people DIES, I don't think we have to live a fearful life in KL. Seriously, I have to clutched my bag so tight whenever I was walking at some streets, every motorcyclist seems like a thief, every guy who looks like they haven't washed themselves for 2 days shouts I'm gonna snatch your bag to me.
Seriously, what's wrong with our society? Where the FUCK is the police? These cases often occured in a few hot zones, you can prevent it so it won't keep happening, but wtf wtf wtf? Did you seriously increase patrol in those zones or set up some station or something to curb it? If you did, sorry I didn't see it and I didn't see much improvement. BANG! Think of some other solutions.

AHHH I'M SO PISSED, NOT JUST AT THE FUCKING ROBBERS BUT OF THE AUTHORITY THAT SHOULD DO SOMETHING!!!

You want Malaysia to make a name out of the place with most snatch thief, cheating cab drivers (who rape people as well), robbers. Go do it.

Malaysia is or was famous as tourist hot spots, if all this keeps happening, I wouldn't be surprised if our tourism industry die. =)

Why do spammers only spam MIA-er's chat box?

2010-08-23T22:31:00.000+08:00

Seriously, so you expect people to read blogger who hasn't been blogging forever's chat box huh? Soooo smart. =.= But well I don't care, I don't usually check that out anyway XD

Let's see let's see... I'm freaking tired now I don't know why I'm still here typing all this. Ya, for future remembrance, memory, this kinda stuff ya... Okay... Let's start with Saturday (Shit, serious memory loss)

Ohya ohya, I've finally watched inception. Shut up, I'm late I know, ishhhhhhhhh!! Anyway it's surprisingly good though. I mean I'm really really slow, and so many people have told me how awesome it is which obviously is going to rise my expectation really high and yet it didn't disappoint me. Wee hee, love how the story goes! Layers and layers, getting deeper inside trapping in the memory and changing a person through changing their subconscious. How cool is that?

Okay, Saturday.
Well, I went to SPCA after I signed up as a volunteer in the website. Apparently, volunteers are not really welcome and not really appreciated it seems. I don't know it might be past experience of dealing with volunteers or what not. But there's nothing much to do other than changing the 'bedding' for the dogs. Yea, that's all.
All my money and resources sort of get wasted though. We bought like gloves, masks and apron for that purpose (thanks to the webpage) just to find out it's not needed. BANG! We went there cause there's an option to sign up as volunteer. BANG! Efforts not appreciated.
But it's fun being there. The lady who took care of that place obviously love the animals tons. She remembers the names of the doggies there. And there are A LOT of them!
Anyway, there are lots of super cute puppies and kittens / cats and dogs, there, go adopt one if you want to keep a dog.
I've asked for the price, for kitten (it's cheap): 200 female, 150 male. vaccination 40. neuter female 70, male 50.
Why is female more expensive? Who cares, it's still cheap, it's less than 500 for a kitten including all the services and they are reallly realllly cute!!!!!
Go check our their website for adoption I'm really tired so yea, go google it =D

After spending a few hours at SPCA, we napped, showered, get prepared to go to support my brother. Urban Groove is performing in a church at Kota Kinabalu. They're giving their students a chance and an experience of performing on stage. The performance is surprisingly good, some of the students can dance well, and the magic shows are AWESOME!! Even though I missed quite a few of part cause we arrived late, the stage is too low, I'm SHORT. Yea....
No photos are taken because.. reread the previous sentence thank you. =D
But we enjoyed that night though, even though my bro didn't perform THAT well due to nervousness, lack of experience, coming to this world resembling a block of wood, but he did fairly well in my opinion. He was so bad back then, he has improved a lot. He got an award that night, some thing about improving x)

Okay, good night

Friends friends, friends?

2010-08-11T23:16:00.001+08:00

Friends forever, umm to me it's = I'll love you forever. Friends stick to you till the end? Nah, it's just like getting a boyfriend who will stick to you till the end, freaking hard. Unless you're lucky =)

No, nothing has happened, I've just been thinking over these for some time, observing, looking, thinking, wondering. How many of you could be so sure that your best friend will only be that one and forever one? Never never do I have a friend who can stick close to me for more than 2 years, it can be distance, it can be we're changing, we just don't share the same view anymore. No, growing a distant doesn't necessary mean someone did something wrong or someone hates someone. You know, you guys used to click so much, it's just that the click factor has been gone. You've grown over that topic, or she has. You guys just may be loving different things now. Hence the silence when you guys try to talk, even though you guys really want to catch up with each other.
In my opinion, think guys are easier to keep as compared to girls. That's true for me, it may not be to you guys, but at least that's in my case. They are more loyal and they care more, and they show it.

I guess this kinda happens to a lot of people right? So what do you feel when you sense the distance? In the past cases I'll try to get a grip but most of the time it fails. It's like you try so hard to talk then you realize you guys just aren't on the same channel anymore. It's still fun to hang out with he/she but no more the talk forever and ever and ever. No longer sticking to each other so much or making such great effort to meet up. Sometimes either 1 party give up or both parties just don't care as much anymore.

Meeting new friends, changing, switching to some other channel of entertainment. Everyone changes, it's not a crime, it's not bad, there's no good or bad. It's natural but it still kinda suck when you guys just lost so much in common and drift away.

Is it me that didn't hold tight enough? But it kept happening, the awkward silence, the staring at anywhere but each other while trying to find something to talk. The talk of the usual things but the other party is not interested anymore. It's rather sad but it just can't be change can it?

Tell me if you can keep it so tight it never drifts away, I really want to know.
So did this happen to you? Or I'm just a lousy friend keeper?
But I have no problem keeping guy friends, they don't change as much (most of my guy friends), and they're full of crap. I can talk as much crap with them and I'm totally comfortable with it. XD

Okay out of topic, seriously, can keep, hard? easy?

Hi

2010-08-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

Been there done that, enjoyed, sick of it, gave up, new life.

Then why the heck would I want to go back and try it again even though I know it's a total waste of my time? Tsk, I should just stop thinking and it'll get off my mind. I still believe it's really really not worth of my time and energy, it's just not.. the kind of life I want to have.

I'm having some serious sore throat lately and I hope I wouldn't need to ring the doctor's bell again, he always gives me super drowsy medicine and make my world spin so hard. No, it's not good, that's why I'll probably not hook on drugs because it sucks!!

Hehe, Steven is a reaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly sweet friend, he's the only one who pops up all of a sudden and ask me to drink more water.
Note to self, keep him keep him.

Not really used to the new friends yet, but they're really nice and it seems that soon I can share my feelings with them. I talk so much with people who I don't know because every silence seems like an awkward silence to me, and I'm sleepy. ><

Waiting for 11.30pm and I'll watch the drama and dozed off at 12.30am =D

Bye

Salt and my new watch =D

2010-08-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

really short update. I went to Pyramid today after my class ended to watch some movie other than Salt but someone bought Salt's ticket's online. Lol, he's not paying a tiny bit attention to me when I talked to him this morning in the car.

I have to say, I like the movie. You throw me actions, hot girl/guy, twist and turn plot, and I'll be satisfied. I wonder why my friend says it's bad though, my other friends told me it's great. Different expectations I guess?

I'm supposed to go gym today after movie but but but half of my body still aches like heck, yea only HALF of my body. I seriously have no idea how this could happen -.-. Gym tomorrow!!!!!! =D

new watch, new watch, another early birthday present from by mum. I signed the card though, hehehehehhe, there's sales these days, better snatch it now. But only 10% discount =(

ehe, ehe, ehehehehehe <3 this

ohya, I did something to my own gum yesterday (which is scratched off two parts of it) and it bled like hell. LOL, I'm eating when this happened, the pork rib is too hard to bite (weak teeth). It looks scary, but it's not painful, and it tastes good x)

Park, badminton, movie

2010-08-08T16:47:00.000+08:00

Supposed to go for Salt tonight but my mum wasn't feeling well so I'll be going with Teo only.

We went to Kota Kemuning to picnic yesterday, then badminton.
Spent hours to research for marketing weekly submission yesterday night.

Okay, my brain is blocked now. The photos in my camera, blah blah blah.

I have so many things in my mind but I forgot.
Half of my body is aching but the left half isn't feeling anything. Apparently my left side didn't move at all yesterday during badminton? That's weird, not even my left legs feel anything, ish!

Comparing this and that

2010-08-02T18:04:00.000+08:00

does it depress you more or it makes you feel better?

Definitely depress, because human is greedy, something might seem good enough to us for a day but a total crap on the second day because someone just has something slightly better than you. Unless you're the richest man/woman on earth, you might have everything you want, but then you might still be miserable, because by then you're comparing different things. Partner, friends, family, anything, because you'll never be satisfied and contented with what you have.

I don't understand, if comparing depress people so much, why do they still keep going on and on killing themselves everyday. Yea, they always blame it on something. My life is hard, when the truth is you didn't put enough effort. Yes, some people do have luck, but nobody has luck in everything, no one's success is based on luck. Seriously, think of it what you have done, how much effort you have put it. Further, do you know that person enough to know how much she/he care about what he/she does.

Comparing partners are stupid. Comparing singledom and coupledom are at the same level of comparing your partner and your friend's partners. Other people's bf will usually seem to be treating their gfs better because you're not there when they fight. Some people prefer to be single, some prefer to be in a relationship, why should you be jealous when you know you're better off alone?

No one is perfect, learn it, take it in, live your life happily. Why spend time dwelling on things you can't be change? Appreciate the people around you, don't chase them away by making comparisons and the occasional look down on people who you think are not as good as you. No one can judge anyone. Letting it go will make you feel better.

Strike a balance, don't get too intense into this matter. Doing this sometimes let you know what's wrong in you, but doing it too much? It drives your friends nuts. Give yourself a happier life, do it for you, not the others.

Sunway Lagoon on MONDAY!!!

2010-07-30T16:30:00.000+08:00

My camera is at home and since we didn't take any picture in Sunway Lagoon, just let me spam my own blog with the memories remained in my brain.

Anyway, just came back from pyramid, Sushi Zanmai and shopping for make ups with Esther. Hehehehe, love her so much.
Trying to load a song in youtube through Monash's library's computer, so slow...... =((

Esther (she's four years elder than me) just came back from US not long ago for vacation purpose. The whole gang of us is supposed to meet up on Monday to go Sunway Lagoon, but Helen and Ee Wah had something else to do *sad face*.
At the end, there are only six of us. Esther and her American bf, Adrian and his gf, me and Teo. Both me and Teo have class on Monday till 12pm, so the two couples went to Lagoon first.
We weren't expecting crowds that day because it's Monday, it's not holiday! But it's damn crowded that day, the queue was so long when me and Teo got there after my class. A lot of tourists visited Lagoon that day, most of them are Arabian and a few caucasians. The place is so crowded and they closed down the surf beach, the BIGGEST ASS BEACH, yet asking us to pay the full price. There is no FREAKING NOTICE outside when we purchase the price, I feel so cheated. Sunway Corporations are so good in digging out our money right?

The whole surf beach is closed, even the beach is closed, some of the extreme games can't be carried out because they closed the surf beach for MTV World Stage. Ish, MTV WS is held on SATURDAY, is it necessary to close the surf beach on Monday? If it is, discount please, we feel so cheated.

I used to have wonderful memories about spending my day in Sunway Lagoon, but it seems that their maintenance is poor or that the rides have been there for too long, it produces scary loud noises when the rides start or stop. The only thing, the only part I love that day is wild park. No, I didn't volunteerily buy the ticket, they force us to get 3 parks ticket, cause it's the minimum package, unlike last year we are able to purchase just 2 parks, we gotta pay extra even though we don't want it. But it's still fun to me, it's just I don't like it because they take away our options. =( Having fun there isn't so fun anymore.

My friends are forbidden to get in a ride because she's wearing a bikini. Even bigger =(

Okay back to wild park, wild park is awesome if you enjoy staring at animals or you're a great animal lover like me lol. Yea, I'm obsess with reptiles, but I love most WILD animals, strong and aggresive. So cool!! We went to the butterfly park first, they are beautiful and not afraid of human. One of them sort of stopped at my shoulder for a milisecond. hehehehe. (Only me and Teo went to wild park anyway)
Then we saw birds sitting at the branches, hornbills kissing. Hehe, I always thought hornbills fly more, but the hornbill we saw jumped from tree branch to tree branch and kissed another hornbill, so cutttte!!! There are also eagles and a sleeping owl.
The owl was tilting it's head sleeping when we're staring at it curiously. I think I woke it up by screaming, "awww awww awww". It stared at us with one eye open. He went back to sleep after a while though, guess it lost interest on us.
There are porcupine, crocodiles, snakes, monkeys, leopard cat, python, goats, chipmunks and a lot more animals which I forgot their names. They have an animal farm area which you can cuddle the guinea pigs and rabbits. There's also a tortoise named Adam which is 27 years old this year. Two years back Adam weighed 50++ kg, I wonder how heavy is he now. Hehehehehe.
There's also animal show, which we missed, arapaima feeding time, which we also missed around there. There's a very smelly horse, which is shorter than me there also, it's the shortest horse species, hehe.

After wild park, me and Teo went to find Esther they all at Extreme park (They bought all parks tickets). Ohya, Adrian said Scream Park is lame. Then after some waiting, some walking, me and Teo went to the wave pool by ourselves. The pool isn't big but it's okay, better than nothing.

Then we had dinner at TGIF, don't remember much things there, the only thing I remember is that food at TGIF at pyramid branch is bad.

I slept like really early that night, 9/10pm I think. I was so tired, but it's fun meeting up with them. Some rather bad experiences though, in the park, thanks to the tourist which can't control his body and hand. Fuck him, his dick is going to fall off when he gets home!

Busy week

2010-07-30T10:20:00.000+08:00

I had been to Genting Highland last Friday with my family and Sunway Lagoon with Adrian, his girlfriend, Esther who just came back from US with her American bf. But I didn't have time to blog everything out, I was busy gaming with teo, fishie ning, tc, and Bobo almost every night lol. Nab, not just gaming, I have 2 assignments due next Monday which I have only finished half of each. Damn, I better switch off my vacation mood soon, I don't want anything to go wrong, no matter how insignificant it seems, in the end when those small matters pile up, they are what ruined you.

I'm sitting at building 9, black sofa area waiting for Teo's class to end. I'm supposed to stay at home do whatever a student should do since I have no class today, but I'm going out with Esther later during her break. Wee, love it!! Shopping time!! :)

daddy went to Singapore yesterday and is still there, I hope he'll able to buy the hair mask and serum for me. Why the heck so those product sold in Singapore but not MAlaysia? So depressing :(

Teo's class ending at 12 pm, one hour and forty minutes more to go, grrr I better not die out of boredness XD

=) to =( to x) to x(

2010-07-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

=)
Manage to get closer to more people, but I can't stop talking because when I'm with new friends, any kind of silence seems like an awkward silence to me. I can't bear any silence cause awkward silence sucks, hence all the talking. I won't be surprised if they start to ignore me or something, lol. Good luck to me.

=(
He sucks, he's on par with Mr E.D. Shit, I hope it wouldn't affect my result at the end of the semester, it's soooo not ideal to get low results for my major.
Need to go TM point tomorrow, I should really do more research beforehand next time, it sucks.

x)
I am fooling around with Teo at home, challenging him on his strength. I told him I don't think he can manage to support me in time if I fainted or something, so I was demonstrating those situations.
I was supposed to land on the bed, I did, but my head landed on the wrong side and it smacked right against my computer chair. It's damn painful but I can't stop laughing, yea, that's what I do, laugh in pain. x)

x(
Okay, no more laughing, it seriously hurts, I hope I won't get dumb or something. I remember I used to hit my head a lot when I'm a kid, so.. I think I won't get dumb right?

New lens, new purse =)

2010-07-20T22:31:00.001+08:00

new semester!!!

I'm so tired now, eye lids getting heavier, but I'm waiting for the mango, mummmmmy, when are you gonna cut it???

Anyway, I bought a pair barbie lens online in holiday and I missed delivery by the pos laju fellow. Seriously, don't you think pos laju is very inefficient? I used to buy books online, and if I missed the delivery, I can call and arrange another time to pick things up. Some of them will even call me 2 to 3 hours prior the delivery time so they won't get their time wasted and I won't need to arrange another pick up time.
Let's forget about pos laju and check out the package of the lens!!

Barbie lens, blue. It's dark blue though, was expecting light blue but still loves it =D
Water content 48%, higher than geo lens. It doesn't dry your eyes up as fast as geo lens, but it's not suitable for long hours also. Today's record?11 hours. Almost gorge my eyes out when I removed it in Pyramid without a mirror. lol

Even it's in a box, she used a few layers of poster to wrap around the box also.

Totally secure!

I dislike pink =(

There are instructions behind the box on how to wear a contact lens.

Inside of the box.

Ish, too pinkish

Umm the color of lens is a bit hard to be captured by camera without flash, but with flash the tone lighten up too much. =\

Oh oh, and guess who bought me my early birthday present? A PURSE!!! frommmmmmm

which looks like~~~

Weeee, totally love it!!

Bought it in Pyramid today =)

Love you baby <3

muacks

I hope Friday comes faster

Starbucks and Baskin Robbin in Genting!!!!

Swwwwweeeeeeettttt

Empire Shopping Gallery...

2010-07-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

AGAIN! This time I went with my family though, hehe. There are more shops now, but when you compare it to other malls, their shops are kinda little.

I forgot to bring my camera out, sigh, forgetful.

Sunday morning, we went to OUG for our lunch first. It started raining when we're going back to the car, I was forced to run in my wedges, grrrrr, it's not hard, just it kinda hurts after that. Then, visit my grandma, then my dad brought my mum round Mont Kiara to check out some place, and finally Empire Shopping Gallery!!!

There was an event yesterday, the Shojikiya was selling things there. We bought a lot of nonsense back, lol. Maggie mee, pan cake, fruit juice, sweet, POCKY!!
Errr... Just skip all the things, I just want to start putting the pictures of the awesome food down and drool!!!

The shop is inside the the supermarket. It has posters sticking around.

The uniqueness of the restaurant is that we're both the supplier and the customer.

We buy our food from the stalls at the right side of the restaurant and supply it to the chef to cook for us.

They don't put heavy seasoning and sauce, only some light salt and spices, presenting you the original taste of the dish.

Truth to be told, it's a tad too salty though, next time I shall ask them to use lesser salt in cooking.

It's not like this at first actually, it's attached to a big ass piece of beef.

Wagyu beef, awesome!!!

This is the cheaper part though, RM250 for per kg, next time I shall try the one which costs RM650 per kg.

FYI: it's 200g, and it's HUGE!

Seafood!! Prawn, squid, fish.
Dad chose 9 big prawns and it costs only like RM30?

Salmon for Mummy, RM25 for a piece of really thick and big salmon without bones.

Forgot to take a picture of lamb loin my bro chose XD

The pricing of the food = raw food + RM12 for each dish

3 available side dish to choose from

pasta, salad and vege.

I don't really like the pasta but my parents love love love the vegetable.

The awesome part of the night:

My Wagyu beef with pasta. The pasta portion is actually much bigger.

How cook I want it to be? Medium =)

Err, if you're afraid of blood, don't choose medium though

Other than the surface, the inside is red.

It's very thick so it's definitely more red than brown(cooked area)

It's really really juicy!! It's really soft and the taste just melts on your tongue.

Okay shit, I better try the better Wagyu next time.

Bro's lamb loin. 4 pieces of them.

Err, I'm too in love with my beef so I can't comment much.

It's tender and tastes great as well, not as great as the beef though x)

The 9 prawns on the plate!!

The prawn is fresh and sweet, suck the prawn's head if you're not afraid of your cholesterol level.

It's definitely worth it though. =D

Mummy's salmon.

I'm starting to hate myself for not bringing the camera

if not I can capture the inside of the salmon and beef.

The salmon is well-cooked, crispy at the side and surface

Just nice in the middle, pinkish!

My mum thought it's too cooked at first, then when she cut it up, she fell in love with it. LOL

Bro's onion soup.

NOT MY THING

but if you love onion you'll love it

it's RM8 I think.

A lot of onion inside, you definitely won't feel cheated.

Very saturated, and that's why I dislike it.

I'll gag when I eat too much onion.

I hope we're going there soon again. Awwwww

I remember my family used to go Pavilion a lot

for food and movie

I guess now the new place should be Empire Shopping Gallery

Pictures taken with my HTC diamond 2, it's much brighter there, the lighting in the picture is so dim =(

It's ending...

2010-07-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

The HOLIDAY!!!

Umm, I am not as 'emotional' as the others regarding this because I guess attending class is the only time I'll move my butt on keeping in touch with my friends. Well, it's not that I don't keep in touch with all of my friends, just most of them, not all =)

Hoping for a better semester and finally got to know some new friends, which I think it's pretty hard because... I'm just lazy. Hehe, I wouldn't put in much effort for bonding and stuff, always gives a no for a day out. Hmm, I don't think I'll change much in this aspect though, let's see if I'm going to bump into someone who will make me go, hey, I really want to be your friend not.

Having friends who can and only will go wild with you, fun? Maybe, if I'm like... 16? or 17? They can't be trusted, yeap, for sure. They're those who will only think of you when they need someone to go crazy, once you said no for a few times, you're out of their social circle.
Friends who care are those who I really want now.
No point putting on a mask around people you don't like now, cause we'll pretty much do that a lot in the future. Save the mask =)
Give a smile and a wave and just leave. =D

Emo night

2010-07-18T02:49:00.000+08:00

Well, maybe I should really tell him how I feel.. Even though it doesn't really seem nice for me to say this now, or even weird, but you know.. Feelings are feelings, once you fall for someone, the feelings will not just vanish, not in a short time. Most of the time, it'll stay, no matter it's going to develop further or just stay at the ground of 'something-special-but-never-ever'.

Same goes to the wound, it still runs deep inside. I thought I'm all over it, no pain, no fuss. The feelings are not there anymore, but a little bit of reminder bring back the pain, just not as intense. How long more would I need? A while more I guess, because now I'm not alone =)

I'm tearing up

2010-07-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

No not because of my sucky result, the eye cream gets into my eyes I guess? Screw sensitive skin + eyes. It's hard to buy make ups and skin care products. I can't draw on my tear line because I'll tear the moment and my make up will be smeared. Thus, all my make ups are water proof. My left eye is blood shot now, grrrrrr!! Let me rant please, I just checked my result and to me, it sucks. I mean ya, good enough to you guys maybe, but I have a scholarship to retain, and I don't know what the fuck goes wrong, but since everyone is cursing about that particular subject, let's assume it's the marker. Never mind, I'll work harder next semester =) A little bit depressing, but it's over, just face it =\

Parents been surprisingly supportive though, cause usually they have higher expectations than those I have on myself, probably because I walked out from room sulking like a gold fish. My mum goes, "See, I bought you Sushi." *Walks to the fridge and bring out Sushi*. Aww, they're the best =)

Lol, today is the day my parents found out Teo's full name and that he got a piercing. Lol, wth after so long. Baby pierced like one and a half month ago? And we've been together for ten months, and my parents have seen on our second day. Well, it's fast I know, but he just gives me the I'll-stay-with-you-as-long-as-you-want vibe. Hehehehehehe.

Anyway watching The Back-up Plan tomorrow at IOI!! After that will be gym time again!! Still thinking what to cook tomorrow, guess chicken balls and some bread will be enough.

Bad thing about watching movies before/after gym, it's hard to ask your friends along, cause they'll be travelling just for movie and force to chiao. Good thing? Tickets at IOI super cheap, I can go every week, muahahahahaha.

Going out with Esther darling next Monday, Sunway Lagoon with Adrian that gang the following. Money going out but, well, I think I can't indulge that much after assignments start piling. So, better enjoy more at the beginning. =)

I read your diary

2010-07-15T14:09:00.002+08:00

And it said
That you weren't in love with me (in love with me)
And you're leavin'
And I wished that I didn't see (I didn't see)
That you fell in love with him (him, him)

I used to have a diary, a hand written book filled with my memory, but I always forgot to fill up the pages with happy memories, instead it's filled up with sad memories. Writing is always the way to express my feelings which I don't tell people, not even close friends I guess, it's hard to explain and it's also hard for people to understand because sometimes I don't even know why I feel that way. It's confusing enough to me, why give myself a hard time to explain all to people, digging up the emotions that you tried to bury deep down is painful.

I tore off the pages from that diary, a few weeks after I'm in the current relationship. I didn't touch the diary for some time because I forgot about it's existence. Before I tore it off, I didn't read it for the one last time. I wanted to start up fresh, without any thing messing with my feelings, it had hurt me enough and it's time to stop those emotions from interfering with my life again.

In the diary, there were three stories, one has been torn off before second semester of MUFY started. The first story in my book was my ex, the things he'd done wrong, so so wrong which led to an end, a very bad end. I don't hate him anymore and I'm still working on forgetting what he'd done, it made me so much harder to trust people. The second story was about The Fallen. It's a really short period which filled with sudden and heavy emotions, ran so deep it hurts so much that time. It totally surprised me as I didn't know why did it felt so hard, it just happened in such a short time. It didn't make any sense to me that time, or even now. But it's all a mistake and it's wrong, but I didn't regret all that had happened, it's still a bitter sweet memory. The third story was about a crush I had, which led to a second and third crush after MUFY started. I was trying hard to fell in love with some random guys to put The Fallen back off my mind. I thought I did it but I was wrong, so wrong, because whenever I woke up during midnight, I knew he's the one who made my tears rolled. So I tore off the third story and ever since then I stopped writing diary.

Now I have 2 diaries, this blog and 'that' blog.

I don't find the need to keep a real diary anymore, it's just wasting paper, I guess, the tearing, throwing, burying or burning. And, even though this doesn't promise forever, I'm really happy and contented in this relationship. Even though once in a while I'll look back into the past and wonder what will happen if this didn't or that didn't happen. At the end of the day, I'm still glad I end up with this guy, a guy which is totally out of my check list. Someone who I'll never see myself end up with, the someone which actually makes me trust and have faith again.

I wonder what will happen in the future, but I guess, it'll only get better, if I believe so. :)

It hurts someone when you find he/she cheated on you

So don't do it, because someday you'll experience that too

Where's my knight?

2010-07-15T11:52:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to blog about this yesterday but I'm freaking tired and I died on my bed realllly early yesterday about fooling around with baby. I think I slept before 9pm, after 8pm, it's really early, nowadays I sleep around 2/3am, but still I'm reluctant to wake up, it's all Teo's fault, he should be here an hour ago but he's still sleeping. Tsk tsk, so much about me thinking of him as my knight.

Just received a message, apparently he's servicing his car and he didn't pick up my call. Well, at least this is better than sleeping x)

Oh yeap, I watched knight and day yesterday, some quite last minute decision as we only checked the available screening time online yesterday morning before we changed, or has anything for lunch/brunch. It's 10:30 or so that time, and the movie is going to start at 12.25pm. It's a little bit rush yesterday, we ate slower and when we realized, it's already 12:00pm. Lol, Teo gave me the wtf expression and stuffed his food down his throat as fast as possible. That scene was funny! XD

Lucky us, the movie JUST, JUST started by the time we went in, we didn't miss anything at all, perfect timing, 1 sec right after the U/18SX/anything like that pop up. So cool right?

Ehehe, I love this scene, go watch it if you haven't, it's going off the screen soon I think, very little screening time left.
Seriously, don't miss this action comedy, it's really funny. I was lol from the beginning till the end. There're not so many actions actually, if you consider shooting each other and driving around freaking dangerously are actions, you can go for it, but if you're those I-love-action-and-action-only, you'll probably find this movie a bit dull. But but but I love it!! And how I love both of them together, lol.
Cameron Diaz is from Charlie's Angel right? I hope I'm not wrong. All the while her character seems to be a strong woman to me, thanks to the show, but now it changed so much like 180 degree change. The scene of her losing control with the machine gun is really XD XD XD XD. Okay I'll stop talking, it's fun. Next up I'm so gonna watch Predators, Backup Plan and Despicable Me. IOI has really cheap ticket, so I can go every week x). I gotta save up for license =\

After movie, gym, after gym home. Teo wants to enjoy some facial treatment, so I gave him face scrub while him lying on the bed like a corpse. Hehehehehehe

He looks so cute with the pink headband right? Lol it's mine, I took his to use XD

I used to do this once a week when I was working at Etude house but I've dropped the habit after I stopped working, gahhh I should get it back, it's good for skin!! Anyway, when I'm waiting for the clock to tick my mum shouted, "Eh, clean your room a bit, the guys i here." I looked at the mirror and go WTF in my brain, "What guy?" "The guy to change the fan."

Shit shit shit shit shit -.- she should tell me much earlier right? I'm with PJs, and a ridiculous face, ish!

He complained about the dusty fan. Lol, we didn't touch it cause we're gonna change it soon.

New fan!!! So much faster, it froze me up this morning, it's just a fan =.=

Well, my area has mists in the morning anyway, so it's cool XD

Since the old man has seen my hideous side I just go on with nose scrub and black head removal tape and stuff, sitting in my bro's room trying not to mess up his room while my room kept complaining how messy my room is. I want a new book rack, =( I don't want to throw my mangas away again, it only occupied 2 racks. My novels took over, 3 racks and a bedside cupboard, sigh.

I'm going to Sakae Sushi tea time buffer with baby and his mum!! WOOHOO =P feast day

Plan failed D:

2010-07-13T20:04:00.000+08:00

Ee wah called me this Monday to ask if I'm free to go out, too bad no, so we talked on the phone instead, for nearly 2 hours I guess, or at least 1 and a half hour. I missed Esther's call when I'm talking to Ee Wah. Called Esther back and realized some plan has to be changed about the outing on Wednesday with Steven!!

Was buying novels in Popular when I'm thinking what movie to watch and how to fit the time nicely. Steven messaged... umm when I'm on the way to gym, he's not going to be free on wednesday and he wants to know if we can make it on Tuesday, which is today. Smsed, checked time, so many troubles, and no, we didn't manage to meet up. Sigh, hopefully we can meet up next week.

Anyway, just did my allocation for 2nd sem, sigh crappy time table, gotta go to uni 4 days a week, i'm so envious of Esther D:. A great thanks to macroeconomics tutorial which ruins my time table, but I'm going to major in that so I better suck it up and hope for a better time table next semester.

Going to Genting next Friday, if this plan fails also, I'm gonna cry x)

Snake in my house!!

2010-07-11T00:46:00.000+08:00

Skipped gym today cause I'm pretty sure we gotta leave home quite early for the dinner, don't want to rush here and there.

When we reached the restaurant, bro not there though, Teo's tagging along, they called and apparently the dinner is cancelled. Sandy's not feeling well, so we went to uncle Loo's house instead, and me, mum and Teo feasted on DURIANS instead!!!

Lots and lots of them!! AWWWWW, it's like heaven!!! Durians from Penang and Batu Pahat. There are 24, 88, XO, 'hong ha' (red prawn in cantonese), didn't manage to try 101 though. So so heaven. Dad and uncle Loo went to buy food back from nearby restaurant while we're enjoying, stuffing our stomach with heaven like durians. Sooooooo satisfying! We brought a box home too, awww, and we're going to Genting tomorrow as well, some durian festival for certain members =).
Gonna take some nice and new family picture again~!

The awesome durians and some rambutans I think

Ohya, the snake, the creature which makes me damn excited!! Oh my god I so wanna keep it!!!

See that thing? It's so tiny and looooooooooooooooooooooooooong. I'm the last who entered the house, but no one else noticed it before I do. As usual, I locked the gate at first floor, waved goodbye and I proceeded up the stairs. There's where my second gate is. I looked at the grill, the pattern is somehow different, so I stared and found a small head moving with me and I jumped, lol. I was freaked because I don't expect anything to be there but was absolutely excited after that because I LOVE LOVE LOVE reptiles. I ran back to my room with my camera in a few seconds and attempted to go real near while everyone sort of stop me from getting near verbally. They don't dare to approach that snake. WHY, it's CUTE! I don't think it's poisonous though, not so sure, but definitely not aggresive. It didn't bite anyone.

At last my dad sort of pull me back to the house though, so sad. I hope it'll still be there tomorrow, but my mum wish otherwise. She hates reptiles, Teo too, he totally freaked and go all whiny baby when I told him there's a snake.

Aw, the snake and them are soooo cute <3

Done!!!

2010-07-10T02:28:00.000+08:00

Finally done watching how I met your mother season 5, it's the latest season if I didn't get it wrong.

I'm

DYING TO KNOW WHO'S HIS WIFE AND HOW THEY GOT TOGETHER!

But I guess the producer still finding big bucks out there, so unwilling to stop rolling the films and stuff.

Geezzzzzzz, when's season 6 coming out? Adrian said usually new season comes out at September, is it true? Arghh, I hope it is. It's just 2 months away!

I'm supposed to be sleeping but I'm not quite tired =\ What to do, what to do? Okay it's better to sleep anyway, nights

Fit In

2010-07-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

Is it really important to feel belong to a group of friends who you don't fancy but you're too afraid to be alone? Even though they are people who share different life styles as yours, the life styles which you despise? Seriously? Changing yourself to fit in others and eventually turns into that kind of people, started to enjoy what they enjoy. Even though sometimes, you don't really enjoy it but you thought you did, it's just about getting used to thing, humans are pretty adaptive I guess. Ya, I know some of them really think that's the life that they should live in, but don't you think it's rather ironic that you used to say,"Oh my god, I hate it when people stereotype me this way!". But now you're becoming the bitches you once thought, but refused to be called a bitch just because you THINK you're not one of them. Sometimes you wonder why do you feel you're drifting way too far from the friends who you claimed you truly seek comfort in, but it never seem to you that it all happens because of you.

Some people starts smoking because they think being a loner isn't cool and they want to fit in the cool gang by murdering their lungs and efficiently reducing their life spans, just to be 'cool'. Do you think people are talking behind of you thinking you're an idiot, some wanna-be and tried too hard? Sometimes you feel belong and you ditched your old friends to realize that the new friends are a bunch of dumb ass and you're becoming one of them, worse, you meant nothing to them, just some wanna-be new comer who tries to stick up their ass. Does it worth it? Shoving your true self just to feel belong, caring so much about what other people says?

Everyone goes through this phase somehow in their lives, it's not good to shove your character stubbornly in people's face, people tolerate and make friends around. But doing everything you once hated and all, throwing all your characters away are too much. People change all the time, but no drastic changes, no saint in a day and devil the next day. You usually won't realize how much you've changed and you friends usually won't bother to tell you, simply because you don't care what they say anymore.

It's just an example anyway, if somehow you're the one, well, too bad. It's just coincidence =)

I was playing online game, but people were arguing in the game for some stupid reasons and it really makes me go, "shut up shut up shut up, okay fine I shall stop playing now and mess up my blog.". x)
I wonder will I continue playing this game after university has officially started? It's in 1 week time. =D

I didn't read that much this holiday thanks to the game and I'm trying to save up money to get my driving license. I heard it's 1k is it? Better get myself a job the end of the year!!

Have some really nice conversation with Steven again, arghhh! Why isn't he in Monash!!!!!

"I thought you would understand"

2010-07-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

"I do, but it doesn't mean I'll not feel anything"

Let's post some happy memories to erase off the moody clouds.

On the way to empire shopping gallery. Have a bad make up day though :(

So here we are, Empire Shopping Gallery!!!

There are quite a few shops inside, not enough for shopaholics definitely. The building isn't that big, actually it's not small, some of the shops lots are still empty, maybe that's why it gives me the this mall is small impression. One very turn off point of this mall though, no freaking cinema. Seriously, no cinema? It made this mall so unattractive all of a sudden.

The shops there have limited stocks as well, for their items. My Charles & Keith purse!!! Sob sob. I shall hunt for the same purse in pyramid next week!!

Okay, first thing we did in the mall? Go hunt for FOOOOD! Both of us are starving. Thanks to the guy who woke up late, no he couldn't wake up! I called his house and then his mum woke him up. So, we're starving. There are only a few restaurants there, Rakuzen, another japanese food shop, some chinese restaurant and Italiannies, okay, maybe a few more, I don't remember that much.

The two course meals are cheap, RM27.90. The appetiser is enough to fill your stomach up,

it's really filling (to me).

My Italian something clamp soup. 3 to 4 clamps inside. Yummy clamps!

Minced tomatoes (bunch of them), okay that kind of make me go ewww

But if you love tomatoes, you'll love it!!!

The soup tastes sour though, so if you have gastric please eat this first:

(It comes with the soup)

The waiter poured olive oil and vinegar into a plate

I guess it's for the bread? Well, there's only bread on the table when he did this.

So it should be it!

There comes my main course!!!

scallop with red sauce (tomato again) spaghetti

BLEHHHH!

Not nice. Scallop NOT FRESH, not enough sauce, very average sauce.

My mum or I can do a better job in this.

So, I gave this to baby and we exchanged dish XD

His appetiser and main course:

some Italian pizza and fish with angel hair.

He complaint about the tasteless angel hair, and since I prefer the first

we exchanged our main course.

The fish is nice, the angel hair is.. well.. tasteless :)

But I can't finish it up, so at the end he ate like 3/4 of our food.
Oh, he ate all the bread also, I took one bite only. xD

Oh I forgot forgot, my drink, classic Martini. Wanted to try blueberry instead but they don't have it.

Well, now you know what I meant by most of their shops have limited stock.

Ohya, Teo wanted to order something with shrimp but apparently they have no shrimp in the kitchen.

You can see we're bored after we've done eating but I don't feel like moving my ass yet, so camera time!!

But most of the time, these kind of photos are taken:

Yes, they are taken with flash. I love how it made the background so.. umm.. night life feeling?

And here comes the bill! Okay now I know what's the name of all the dishes. LOL

I guess that's the reason I took this picture, but I totally didn't refer to it so yea. Never mind =)

After lunch and the disappointment of my purse hunting trip, we went to an optical shop.

Checking the prices of monthly disposable contact lens for baby

and I think he looks quite good in this specs as well.

Nah, specs are annoying and.. disturbing sometimes. *smirk*

I'm in the washroom, IN the CUBICLE!

Seriously, a full body length mirror inside the cubicle.

Who wants to look at themselves when they're doing their business?

I don't know what I did, but I'm sure I didn't didn't hit/pinch/bite him that hard.

ACTOR!!

See, I made this mistake again. Jumping into the ship without knowing the history of the ship and the 'maker' of the ship. I told myself to not care and not to feel threatened.

But seriously, if you've jumped into the ship, how could you not care about the person who make the ship, the history and what the ship has gone through. It all makes what the ship is today. If you want to sail with it for a long time, how could you ignore the fact that it's not been service well? You wouldn't want to find yourself sinking one day after you woke up from your slumber land no where to run to?

You might be lucky to find a float, but how long will your float in the sea alone? It wouldn't make you feel comfortable either, right? Floating there, jumping into another ship just to feel ease and find the same old comfort again, it's like repeating everything again right?

An awesome day which ended up with the fight = aweful day

Actually, you don't understand too, that's why I acted that way.

10th month!

2010-07-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

It's actually yesterday, but we sorta celebrate it today because he was watching football at his friend's house on Saturday night till midnight when I've just had a freaking awful day and had some futsal time followed by a CYBER CAFE time, hence the no celebration on Sunday. Lol, okay everything I said is true, it's just that we've decided like two weeks ago that we're gonna celebrate it today. I don't want to stuck in stupid jam and crowded malls.

We went to Empire shopping gallery today, watched toy story 3, and is freeeeeeeeaking tired now. He's happily dozing off on my bed -.-

I took a lot of pictures today and on Saturday and a few months ago, I should really start posting it up here/facebook/ at least save it inside my laptop.

I hope I'm slightly more hardworking =)

traumatized

2010-07-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

Well, I decided to just go out late this one time during holiday since I've been staying home most of the time gaming, hence the mamak session with Adrian, Helen and Ee Wah. And... I totally forgot it's still World Cup season (not interested) and was quite surprised to find only one table left at the most back, right in front the big ass projector. Since it's just 5 of us and we're probably not going to eat, guess it's okay.

I'm TRAUMATIZED again! I used to be really cool with people speeding and stuff as long as their driving skills are on par with the speed, but after the accident the end of last year, I kinda experienced some post traumatic stress disorder, a mild one though. I'm haven't completely recover from it yet, hence the screaming in the car when I'm driving and when I see some other cars driving opposite or along. Finally, I'm feeling better today, not caring cars around, driving swiftly, practicing. BUT, some stupid moronic idiot ruined it all.

So after my guard house, there's a junction not far away. We're going straight and the opposite car wants to turn in. We're driving smoothly, obviously not reducing speed and he just VROOM turn and stop smack right in front of us. WTF FUCK YOU IDIOT, BURN YOUR LICENSE AND GO TO HELL. Seriously, fuck you, you can either stop before we pass, or just turn fast enough (I don't fucking care your stupid sage will flip or something. You want to be an idiot, go ahead and kill yourself, not US!) into the junction. Luckily, there's no on-going car on the opposite lane so we survived. I was screaming like really screaming. I didn't even produce a sound on the first accident while the car spin and bang the freaking huge stone. I was seriously pissed when that happened. If there's a right place to stop, I'll surely ask Teo to stop there and I'll go down with the freaking heavy and big steering lock. Seriously, he needs someone to whack his head off. ROAR! If you die someday, don't blame anyone, blame yourself! And don't bring anyone down with you!

Okay, no more roaring, let's come and talk peacefully. Today's match is boring. I'm not a real fan but seriously I felt much thrill when I watch my first ever football match. By the way, this is the second time. The first match I watched was months ago, MU vs Chelsea and MU lost. Steven blamed me for it, I don't know where' the logic behind but yea he did. =)
Sadly, we didn't talk that much tonight, and umm never mind. I just hope the next time will be better. We might be picnicing or going to Penang, woohooooo coooooool! I mean some outdoor activity is fun, definitely better than well never mind, better don't mention this. =)

Well I have some conversation with Joel yesterday and he told me everything he thinks about clubs, clubbers and stuff and wow. I better keep my mouth shut now. Good night!

Brazil loss. My dad is shocked for just a second and he's back to watching Nadal's game. Nadal as usual is HOT! I don't expect him to win though, he's the clay king anyway, but Federer, so sad, 6 years champion and he lost, not even semi final. WTH!!! Guess he's old? Dad's complaining over his unforced errors and stuff but well it's finally time for Nadal to SHINEEEEE XD

Curfew

2010-07-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

Well, I don't really have a fixed curfew but my parents don't favor me going home late, as almost every parents do. But but most of the time yum cha sessions start late and ends even later, but I'm dying to meet them all. HOW?

Both of our (Teo and I) parents don't like us to be home late, and the mamak session starts at 9.30pm, ummm, if I'll only be there for like maximum 1 hour, I don't see the point of going. Since my house is like so far and I'm not able to be there long, I think, I guess it's better not to go?

As some, umm or maybe one of my close friend knows that I've been driving around with Teo's car in my residential area recently, going up slopes, down slopes, steep turning, learning 3 point turn, parking and stuff. Driving is not hard, but I freak out whenever I see cars. :) Well, it's so much easier to drive at a place without cars but I'm dealing better with cars I guess? Less panicking.

I just get screwed by my parents after I came back from night driving. It's dark it's dangerous and it scared the shit out of them. I'm a little bit upset when both of them pretty much speak at the same time and my brother staring, but I know what they said is true. I pretty much told myself not to try again until I'm so great at driving under the day light before I get off the car. My uncle spotted me driving also, DAMN IT!

Anyway, can't wait till steven's test ends and hopefully I'll be able to meet him again. Good luck steven, you're a smart guy and we both know that =)

Oh Oh~!

2010-06-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

I slept late yesterday, spent at least half an hour rolling on the bed, and so I'm really really tired today. I think I slept around 3.00am earliest maybe? Then off I went to gym with baby after I woke up at around 12pm, empty stomach. Arghhhhh, we only had our lunch at 2pm something, tired and so so hungry. Have lunch at a shop called hai lam coffee shop or something and my food wasn't that nice, average maybe, but I love the drink. I only remember the word dinosaur and milo ice. It's just a umm not really big cup with overflowing milo on top of it, and milo is the love of my life since I was a kid.

I forgot what I want to blog about, and my eye lids are getting droopy, I wonder what should I do next, read novel or online gaming? I've completed three of my ipod games in three days and have some wonderful driving experience around my neighbour hood. I just heard my dad screamed over some silly mistake by I don't know Federer or the opponent. Yeap, my family isn't interested in football, no world cup fever but tennis fever. I only watch it when Nadal is on, he's hot!!! Opps, too far out from I was saying, so online game or novel? A really sad true story about a girl who hasn't opened her mouth yet and I've read like 50 pages. Umm, but I haven't touched my game character since two days ago when I sent my stupid laptop for repair. I didn't repair the screen though, too expensive, no extra money to pay for it. Hopefully it can last for a year or perhaps two years more and I'll get a new desktop. That's the plan anyway, let's hope nothing goes wrong and I really do get a job at the end of this year again, some office job hopefully. No more standing for 7 hours, it's crazy. =)

I just signed in my MSN and has tried chatting with this girl but she gotta go out at this hour, ummm, interesting, wonder what she does so late at night. She doesn't club, well she doesn't like to club. Supper maybe? And it caught me thinking would I be having this kind of life if I'm single? Well, the answer is a clear no. My parents don't like it when I go out late, and I don't find that many things to do round midnight except has some really nice buddy chat with my close friends at mamak. But if I'm single with no car and license I can't go anymore, which means I gotta leave home early to get to that fellow house and I'll probably be too tired to go anymore at midnight. And so the feeling of envious just vanished.

Sometimes I wonder did I miss out a lot in my life because of the long term relationship I'm in? Well, maybe, but I don't think there'll be much difference even if I'm single. The truth is, one of the biggest advantage of being in a relationship is a really convenient excuse for not going to somewhere with your friends just because you don't feel like 'hanging out'. Yea, it may not seem nice but this is just it, I have lost all my energy to lead some 'fun young life'. Well, the 'fun young life' some people is embracing in just seems like a waste of money and time to me. Some of them, not all, some is really chilling and fun but I'm just.... umm... I just want to have my own life I guess? Regardless what the others say. I just love how relax things are now, cause I know hell is beginning soon. So rather than wasting my energy and time in things that will not help me a bit in preparing for what's coming on, I rather be an introvert and get all the rest I need, and probably save up a bit for my future plan. =)

It's holiday, it's time to be geeky!!!

2010-06-29T18:16:00.000+08:00

Lol, yea, it may be weird to some people, but I'm the type who will geek up during holiday. I don't fancy outdoor too much during holiday, unless it involves pool, beach without any money (which is not possible D:). I go out at least once a week, for movie or just plain shopping when university starts, but I got soooo lazy during holiday. Well, holiday is meant for rest, the only time I go out is for movie/private driving lesson/gym. I actually plan to hang out more with friends in July because my money is tight this month and last month, Father's Day, Mother's Day, best friend a.k.a Esther's birthday. But gahhh my laptop died at untimely moment, might need to spend around RM200 just to fix one of the problem, cooling fan =.=! If I didn't fix this, I can't play online game while doing so many other things at the same time and it kind of sucks.

Oh ya, what actually did I do most this holiday? It's probably online gaming. I'm level 31 now approaching level 32, so freaking cool right? XD Am planning to finish up the new novels which I stocked up but have no time to read also.

Celebrated Esther's birthday and Father's day this month, lazy to blog about it. Am trying the DIY bookmark at Teo's house now, see you people. =p

Sigh

2010-06-21T22:59:00.001+08:00

I miss the old time, the old fucking time, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Things have changed, people around me come and go and I don't seem to care. I'm never much of a friend keeper, I always fail to keep friends unless I REALLY REALLY appreciate them. But when I can see how things change and how we drift apart, because of me or the other part, I wouldn't hold back and I'll let it be. It may be a bit lonely sometimes, but I always believe there will always be some new one there. That's what happens in my case I guess. And.. .I never favour telling friends too many things so yea, not much difference made, if I really lost another one I'll just keep a diary. But there are still people who I see remain the same, not exactly the same but those who didn't change as much, those who I can trust and rely on, those who will not wait for me to contact them and will contact me when they miss me, those who really care, and not just when they need someone to heal their wounds.

So yeap, even though I have superbly awesome friends, it doesn't mean I would like it when one go, but this time I'm not really fond on catching back, cause it's too hard for me to trail.

Sometimes it's not about your friend, it's about your friend's friends, and most of the time new friends.

I've gone anti social over time, cause I've done wasting time on 'hi-bye' 'hang out' friends. Well, I'll still say hi and bye and give a decent smile, but when I need to be around them during holiday, it kills, unless unless, I have a reason to go, and I shall not miss the outing, still it's torturing. =(

I'm free from helllll!

2010-06-17T11:26:00.000+08:00

Well, anyone who is experiencing these few stressful weeks due to monash finals will understand how hellish these few weeks are.

The most evil unit is management this is the only unit that makes me sit in front of my table all day to study that freakishly thick book. Sigh, at least I'm still able to play ps2 or wii or online game for other subjects.
I hope my exam timetable wouldn't be that bad next semester, having three exams back to back and only three days to study before that is so not fun, especially when you have to swallow the whole book for management. Waiting for teo's test to end now, bye :)

It's either die or die! =D

2010-06-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

I've disappeared for a week or so (or is it more than that?) due to finals. One down three to go, so did I nerd up everyday like what I asked myself to do one week before final? Well, I did try, but I'm just not nerd enough to nerd up for so long. Hehehehe, this world is full of temptations.

I've done downloaded 4 seasons of 'How I Met your Mother' but I haven't had time to finish it up. I'm tempted to watch it, EVERYDAY. Let's put Wii, NDS and PSP aside, I'm more resisted to those (actually am not, I miss my pokemon and Wii is so great in releasing stress). BUT BUT, my bro just bought a ps2 home, ish! The games are cool, I'm gonna try fatal frame soon, it's so not cool playing it on my laptop. Teo is another distraction and the fact that these few days he's been heavy gaming with me made it worse! Well, usually I just leave my games and dramas rot at a corner, but stress drives me mad, they seem to be a gem to be now, shouting for my attention and dragging me to their evil forces! Okay, I'll stop crapping. My laptop is giving me some problem, I can't play online game on it, it turned black screen and I gotta off the power to get it run again. So I have to use 1 laptop for skype and another for gaming, it's kinda irritating. The screen has some problem as well, I hope I'll get it fixed after final ends.

I wanna watch toy stories 3 and prince of persia. Gahhhhh, I don't care who, just someone watch with me!

This holiday, I want the old MUFY CLOSE GANG to hang out again. The 5 of us who went to almost every class together. But well, it's going to be 6 this year, hehhehehe, no big deal, Teo doesn't talk much. xD

Steven's holiday will be around July, hope this time we can hang out together watch whatever movie or just plain talking, it's going to be fun. I want to visit MUFY lecturers if possible, maybe I should find one day and sneak into their classes, but I have a feeling they'll kick me out, hmmmmmm, how?

Friend going to beach this holiday but I didn't follow. I just spent freaking too much last month and it's better to save more this month PLUS I only know 2 our of don't know how many of them who are going there. I never TALKED TO any of them before so ya, not comfortable, better stay at home enjoy a little bit. Just bought one novel, have lots of new games to play. GYM GYM GYM GYM GYM.

I wonder why I love staying home during holidays and I love going out when university starts. =\

Just changed my blog design, blogger has some quite cool stuff going on lately, shall create a new blog title after exam and make some music video if if I remember.

Back to study now! (I hope) =D Good luck guys!!!

I wanna get drunk!!!

2010-06-05T01:55:00.000+08:00

So I will put the matters down for at least one night

It's Friday today, but I kept thinking it's Saturday, oh well, I'm blur most of the time when it's nothing about study and work and important issues. Can't put in too many things in my brain, limited capicity =p

Met up with Adrian again last night, the last time going to Pasar Malam together for these few months since his holiday is over after this week and he's going back to cyber soon. Supposedly Helen should be with us, but she's been caught up with her work so too bad, next time then. Probably Saturday since Adrian will be back on Saturday almost every week I think? Sigh, We're supposed to go yum cha on Friday night, instead I went to Teo's house celebrate his sister's birthday. He's not allowed to go out so yea, I gotta stick with him, gladly! =)

Things are getting better between me and Teo's ahem, slightly better, but he still drives me gahhhhhhhhhhhh sometimes. Didn't bring my camera today so no photos. Drank a bottle of kampai there and feel soooo not enough, I have this weird habit. When I have a drink or two, I'll keep drinking when I got so high and happy if not I'll go "omg, something is wrong". Yes, I love drinking, at least I don't drink everyday now, unlike back then.

Oh yea, I bought Jay Chou's new album "the era". The songs aren't bad but not very outstanding. There are a few catchy songs there though, some which I kinda like. Maybe I'm really really into the two songs lately, so other songs are not enough to me, that's what addiction is right? Gotta face it.
RM86.90, 11 songs, 2 music videos, comes with 10 badges (his old album covers), and 2 free posters. I'm not very keen with the posters though, wonder who wants to take it from me. The quality is really good, two different texture in the poster. Rough background and UVed figure of him. (UV feels like laminating, I think I'm right, shit, better ask my mum tomorrow again.)

I need more alcohol, I downed one last can of beer at home, and I have no guts to finish up my dad's blue label in a day, I have no money to get him another bottle also. Ahhhh bloooooody hellllll where's my friendsss? Oh ya, they're sleeping except that jo jo. x) Time to disturb jojo! bye =D

I should be sleeping now

2010-06-03T00:42:00.001+08:00

Instead I'm onlining, not studying, just done reading 3 mangas and still not ready to sleep.

Tsk tsk, so much about nerding up.

Sometimes I wonder how our future will be if he didn't do that

Sometimes I wonder who will I be with if he chosed to give the other part up

Sometimes I wonder how far we'll go

Sometimes I wonder how is he doing, is he loving another girl

Sometimes I wonder will I want to start up fresh without experiences

Sometimes I wonder how my life will be if I never ever fell in love with anyone

Sometimes I wonder would I rather to be single or couple

Sometimes I wonder if things might change, can I go through single hood again

Sometimes I wonder is it bad to engage in a long term relationship

Sometimes I wonder would I stop trying to decipher why he chosed to cheat and regret right after

Sometimes I wonder why didn't he stay away when I'm most vulnerable

Sometimes I wonder will he repeat that again in the same situation because he can't lie to himself

Sometimes I wonder why do I think so much, and that's pretty much why I can't sleep now

So yeap, STOP THINKING!!!!

The first ever ever love
The rusher
The never ever

The player
The cheater

The fallen

I wonder I wonder do they wonder what I wonder

Love love love sweet drinks

2010-06-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

Well, it boosts up my mood when I'm stress but I can feel acne coming, ahahahaha who cares, I'm gonna hide at home till it recovers XD

I skipped uni today, there're only two classes today, one is around 15 minutes, another is pretty much useless, so it's better to revise at home, more productive. =) Gotta nerd up more, for scholarship sake! Sigh, but it's hard to resist pokemon, my cute cute togepi!!!!

I just told someone life is boring without making and mistakes and ruining chances. Lol, if anything goes wrong in the future, I hope he'll not blame me. Hahahahahaha. That's me I guess, always fighting hard for something I desire deep down inside. If I didn't do so, I'll not be in a relationship with the gutless guy now (He claimed he's gutless, not me!)

I'm tuning in these two songs the whole day, just these two:
Airplanes
有一种爱叫做放手 you yi zhong ai jiao zuo fang shou

Can we pretend that airplanes

In the night sky

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

Can we pretend that airplanes

In the night sky

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

有一种爱叫做放手

为你放弃天长地久

so so true, sometimes you just gotta let it go

if I stumbled upon this song last year around this time

MUFY finals, that few weeks, depressing holidays

I'll be tearing my eye balls out, LOL

I think I break my leg because of that too

Breath in breath out

Gotta be prepared

This is going away soon

Endure

Ignore

Stay calm

don't let him affect you

Only you dictate yourself

I wanna run away from home

2010-06-01T23:10:00.001+08:00

to a place where nobody knows
a land which brings me peace
a port which I can rely on
a place where takes me away from reality

BUT I'm just dreaming, duh, if it's so easy, nobody will be stress right? or dead.
So yeap, finals coming, I wonder why am I THIS stress, ask Teo and Esther and Steven, they are three people who have to go through all my stressful mumbles, haha dear dear friends and boyfriend. =)

I wasn't that busy last few weeks, I went to watch bounty hunter last last Saturday, I went to TTDI park last Saturday, see, I went out almost once a week have nice food at least once a week, but my stress level didn't go up, instead it is so high up right now.
My scalp itches, my skin on my palm and finger is peeling off, I can't have a nice sleep (never have one nice sleep for so many hours but now it got worse). Damn, I'm only stress in first semester, and I'll adjust my stress level after I know what to expect, let's hope this time it'll be the same.
Supposed to go night market this Thursday, still thinking whether to go or not to go, Adrian going back hostel next week, it's easy for us to meet but umm sigh, contemplating.

That's one part of me that's changed. I'll never tell myself this friendship is over unless something dramatic has happenned. I fed up, I gave up, I totally have no hard feelings and I don't care anymore what that person is going to say. I told someone, "I don't mind anymore, what that person thinks, hates me or not. Yea, I don't mind, I'm fed up. Since we all know nothing can change, I have other better things to deal with."
Yes, I have other better things to deal with, my finals, my stress, my other friends who deserve more of my attention (the real friends).

When will we quit the awkward moments

When can we give each other a light-hearted smile

Not some awkward smile with no conversations

Haven't spoken for more than half a year

Yet, we can't say a word other than 'hi'

Home, house, the place I want to run away from because it brings me more stress than peacefulness. All of us feels happy when we head home, finally somewhere to rest, somewhere to feel comfortable with. Yes, I feel comfortable at home cause I can sit however I want and my laptop and games are there, but that's all.

Everyone perceives different values, but in a family some values are shared, it's not that true in my case. Our family bond is 'close', we hang out a lot we chat with each other as though we're friends, BUT! How much do they know about me? My needs, my character, my thinking? Yes, of course they know all my bad habits and weaknesses, but my true feelings and emotions? What I truly want from a family a home, no, they don't know. And for those retards out there who wants to say stop being greedy, should be grateful and all those crap. STFU, if I can't seek security and love from HOME, where should I look at?

I don't tell them things, because they will not take in my views. I know, they have a point, but it doesn't mean I'm definitely wrong. I accept their views, but they never seem to accept mine. Did I try talking things out? No, but I did accidentally touch into those areas and the feedback is disastrous, so open up and talk? Nonsense.

All these years, portraying the tough, nothing can beat me down daughter, it's not fun and easy. Not easy at all.

Yes, I study for myself, at the same time I want to make them feel proud, but it's as though what I do is never enough, I'm never good enough, I can't make them proud of me, I'm always worse off than some other people's daughters. Haven't I tried hard enough? I might not be the most obedient daughter, I don't follow their every orders, but they have to accept it's me. I have my own thinking, and I don't think it's a good idea to blindly follow your parents orders just because. What's good in forgoing your true emotions? Depression? It all starts with that, by ignoring the true voice in your head telling you you'll regret if you didn't make this mistake. Seriously, let us make mistake, let us learn. Of course it depends how serious it is, if you daughter went around sleep around with every guy then you have a point, she needs to be locked down, but if she's just persuing her interest and her kind of life she wants, what's the big fuzz?

Yes, I love good food, I love good food, I willing to spend for that. But did I steal your money and beg your to give me more money to go for it? I save up myself. It's only when I'm freaking broke I ask you to give me 20bucks to buy me a hair shampoo which happens only like once a year. What's wrong with that? Why can't just get something or do something I want once in a while? Some people go clubbing, drink, smoke or whatsoever to release stress or just pure enjoy. I just go for a nice meal which I enjoy heartily, what's the big deal? Why can't I just do this one thing? I stopped my violin, I didn't join any dance class, not enough compromising? I gave up my true passion, my true ambition because it's a burden too heavy, not enough? Going to a course which I HATE! not enough?

Sorry, it's full of ranting, I just really really need to shout it out, something I wanna say for some really really long time.

They love me, I know, hold me dearly, I know, but it doesn't mean they understand me.

If you are my relatives and you stumble upon this post, kindly keep it to yourself.

Shit, this makes me depress, I hate stress, it brings all this out from me

Dead, revive and dead D:

2010-05-31T10:45:00.002+08:00

exam coming
stress
hopefully i'll be a nerd from today
bye

D:

"so, sad, revived and died again" (Teo, 2010)

Revived!!

2010-05-19T12:09:00.001+08:00

Yeap, I'm all jumpy, happy and hyper again. Ahhhhhh I feel so good after ranting it all out.

Just went to look for my tutor to check on some part of my assignment, I forgot to bring my scheduled unit for next semester again. ahhhh, tutor is in, gotta chao

continue

must must must must bring that piece of paper and went over both economics and econometrics co-ordinators place to make sure everything is all right no further changes should be made. Then I'll be able to fix my second semester units and allocate when time is right.

Hmm... I want to go out this weekend, but not sure where to. A movie perhaps? The Bounty Hunter!!!! =D I love love love love Gerard Butler. He's hot hot hot and hot =p

Weeee, saturday go movie!!!! YAY!

Fucking stress

2010-05-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

I don't care, I'm fucking stress and I'm gonna rant it out here NOW!

I just got my scholarship today, attended the ceremony, got the cheque and certificate encased in nice hard cover thingy and realized that the entrance scholarship is for ONE SEMESTER. If I didn't work well for this semester, second semester I'll no longer got my cheque. Fuck, and this drives my stress level so high. My stress level has gotten higher and higher week by week and I've been swearing so much lately. I hate people being lame okay, especially this period!

Soooo much with different tutors have different requirement, my econs first assignment is fucked up, now this stupid management assignment, I don't know what the heck they want, everyone tells me different things, sample essay can't even be the freaking guideline, no where to find clear indications and requirements, marking criteria is given but the expectations differ so freaking much with different tutors, how am I supposed to do all this?

Scholarship scholarship scholarship... ARGH! Sometimes I just want to let it be, I don't think I have choice. There are three freaking more years ahead and I need my scholarship to support. I'm so so dead..... I found out some universities have quite loose scholarship requirement, but well... what can you say when you want to choose those university with high ranking? My bad

Lazing at the library

2010-05-17T13:37:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to finish up my remaining assignment since I have like 2 hours break today, but I'm lazy after I draft most of it out. D: I went youtubing instead. After rewatching forensic heroes 2 online, I'm watching down with love, the not too new / old taiwanese drama now. It's been like years since I last watch one taiwanese drama as the plot is usually too exaggerated or weird. Okay, maybe it's just no my taste, but this drama is quite funny. Dramas will Ella are always ugly, just love her funny expression. =D

But too bad the drama loads too slow, I can only watch it when I'm home. But but but I'm going to gym today, so I can't watch THAT MUCH dramas home. Sigh, depressing. It's important to destress a bit since final is like in 3 weeks time? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Anyway, we went out with Adrian again last Thursday, this time with Helen also to the OUG night market. Due to some reason, our training session started early so we're able to go to night market at around 6 pm, which was 2 hours earlier than the time I'm meeting them. So, we went to eat first at the nearby restaurant, LOVVVVVVVVVE the pork there!!! And well.. I shopped in the night market till I need to withdraw cash, sigh, night market is such a evil place, it lures me to spend so much because the products seem so much cheaper with the same quality and hence, money gone!!! *sad* But at least I bought some really nice assessories and the uncle is SUPER DUPER friendly and well-informed about his own products unlike some other stall owners. He also taught us how to differentiate cat eye and pearl. His stall is right opposite the book-rental shop at OUG, but he comes late, 7pm I think. He sells assessories and cosmetics, can speak fluent english, hokkien and cantonese. I hope he'll call and inform me that he can sell me the pearl necklace. *pray hard*
Ohya, it's really really fun talking to Helen and Adrian, we talked for 2 hours and it's not enough. Okay, I know I'm talkative, very, yeap, thanks =)

And and and we went to Kai Yun's house warming yesterday. Ask Teo to blog about it, his blog is dead =D

Overall is nice. Free food *=p* free awesome piano performance *=D* crazy people with craziest laughter ever.
Oh and the carrot cake is nice!

Chilies? bad choice

2010-05-11T12:54:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure what you prefer, but I bet everyone who pays that 10% service charge (I know, we're forced to), would expect good service in return, and it's pretty much our right, right?

I'm not exaggerating, but the service in Chilies it's pretty much the worst service I received so far, no, you can't compare those at pasar malam, and for sure, we don't pay any service charges at those places, right?

Or maybe those restaurant that I've been to recently have awesome service and great manners, so, it pretty much makes them suck even more. Teo hates the service as well, it's his first time eating there, and we pretty much won't go back there EVER.

First, the food is just average to below average with that price we pay for, ya, food not nice enough + bad service, we shouldn't go there anymore, I know =)

My dish is grilled salmon with herbals and umm something, I forgot. It's salty, like very salty, from the first bite. I can get a salmon same quality, might even be same source, with less than half the price, and tastes better, without killing my kidney. Teo tasted before, and the portion is MUCH BIGGER, so yea.

Teo's dish is okay, fried prawn and chicken, the prawn is average, of average size, can't compare to Italiannies though, can't forget how good the prawn tastes. The chicken is too dry, taste is average.

His mum's dish, buffalo wing dipped with special sauce or something. First, it's not cooked. Chicken which is not cooked........ Okay fine, they cooked it again later, and with a 'kind' heart, squeezed off lemon juice from a big fat lemon to the chicken wing and it tastes super sour. Ends up her mum didn't eat much that day, ate one or two only. Money wasted

I don't know about the burgers, maybe it's not bad, I remember it used to be good, but I don't love burgers, and I'm in love with Carl's Junior so ya~

His younger sis' dish, lamb chop. Without asking how she wants her food to be served, the lamb came out quite bloody.

Ohya, the waiter can't even speak English =.= I thought they're supposed to have some standard in hiring waiter/waitress? I think I'm wrong.

The restaurant's manager is freaking rude, totally make my appetite goes down. Gahhhhh, I think I'll be loyal to TGIF and Italiannies, they are awesome, and sakae sushi is great too, the service.

I'm the type who are picky in both food and service, and I always prefer service than food. There are good food every where even without service charge, good service is hard to get.

I remember this manager used to tell me, their principles are to treat customers like how they expect to be treated, I think the manager of Chilies like to be treated badly and hence his attitude.

Weee, I'm feeling much better. Gonna upload the photos from Mother's day soon, cooked at home, lamb chop, chicken chop, mushroom soup, salad and sparkling juice. Awesome!!!! =D

Going to restaurant with Teo's family again, shit, my diet plan has gone down the drain D:

I wanna SUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK your bloooooooooooood!!!!

2010-05-10T10:29:00.000+08:00

Lol, sorry for being super random, haven't been blogging in comp lab after so long =p since last year in mufy. Usually computer lab class is hectic, lots of things to absorb but the most enjoyable one.

I bought the book 'dracula' by Bram Stroker (I hope I spell the author's name correctly, aiks). I love the booooook a lot, classic and leather bound, smells like old book and nice story. DRAAAAAAAAAAACULA!

oh shit, class starting, bye =D

I prefer life this way =)

2010-05-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

Last week, hmmm... I went to Ajisen Ramen with Esther on Thursday during the 3 and a half hours break. Haven't been spending real quality time with Esther, just the both of us talking about everything we want for quite some time. It's different sharing things in monash libraby and outside, it just makes me feel less restraint and less cautious. You wouldn't know who'll suddenly pop behind you and you only want one person knows about that right? =) So I really really appreciate and love the few hours we spent in Pyramid. Next semester we can't align our class anymore since we have only 1 same unit instead or 3, so sometimes I really wonder will we stay as close after this semester. Let's hope we have same break *pray hard*.

I started watching forensic heroes 2 online again. It sucks because streamyx is very unstable and never even fulfill their promise. I'm waiting now for my drama to load and it's been on since like... 1pm? Screw Streamyx seriously, being the natural monopoly with subsidy by the government, not satisfying the customer, rather annoying us with the bad service. Sigh, and Jing was showing off about their super smooth internet connection in Australia, damn!

I learnt basic kickboxing skills yesterday, it's damn cool! and major fun, but it's gonna be my first and last class I supposed, no income to get trainers, sigh. He did ask me to take up real boxing classes but no money to spare.

Met up with Adrian and finally have a chance to talk to his girlfriend yesterday night. Dine at Kenny Roger, spent few hours talking and sharing, it's major fun! I just love talking to Adrian, it may be the lack of meeting up or contact or it just we have common interests, conversation never seems to die down.

After lots of pleasant time and fun moment, there are some pretty bad and GAHHHHHH situation as well. Bad bad impression, sigh, hates it so much.
And umm.. Jo jo has gone crazy!!!! XD XD XD XD

I'm planning to go to Sunway Lagoon night park with different group of friends, it seems that I'll be there for few times. Well, admission fee is free, why not explore the night park with some drinks or food and a bunch of nice friends to share? Yes, it sounds awesome, I know =D

Hopefully I'll be able to meet up with Steven in July and Adrian in these two weeks, someone's having his nice sweet holiday~!

Ohya, Happy Mother's Day to all the mummy out there, you're the best! =)

I think, I'm somewhat different now

2010-05-04T21:11:00.000+08:00

I was blog hopping and after reading through all the posts, I somehow wonder did I change a bit after these few years? The answer is yes, in a degree which I won't see myself in few years back, to the old 'me', I'm this person who she never thought she can be.

I think I'm an optimist when I'm a child, and my bro is the emo kid who always sulks at the corner playing puzzle by himself while I run around singing and interacting with adults. But after the death of the two precious persons, I think that's when I started changing bit by bit. Nah, not bit by bit, it's dramatically. From an optimist to a pessimist who thinks oh so negatively all the time even though I was so active back then (maybe I'm wrong, I can't remember much about those times, but I remember I do have suicidal thought when I'm in primary school, so yea.). My faith in everything just vanished some day back then, everything falls apart, secretly pulling back from things I used to like hoping no one will realize the change in me.

Through the fights, betrayals, rumours, back stabbing, I think I just got worse. But I'm quite an idiot I guess, no matter how many bad experiences I gained from gaining sucky friends, I still got into the same mess but double the hurt after that. Thanks to that, I'm always building a wall or a gap in between me and my friends. But then, some bitches can really hide their true colours so ya, I chose not to be bothered after some time. It's hard to do, I'm trying not to care but no matter what it still hurts when you think. You just gotta suck it up I guess, and convince yourself that they suck! Provided you're not the bitch though.

Years passed, I have some friends who I can trust, very very little but at least someone. Then there come college, the place where I know most of my friends who I can really trust, those who I might call randomly in the middle of the night saying, "hey, we haven't talked in quite some time, this may sound awkward, but I need your ears.". They are the bunch of friends who I really treasure and change my way of treating my friends, from the totally passive to dropping messages or msn once in a while just to check how they are doing. And I met this guy, this lame guy who most of my friends claimed he's the best boy friend on earth. Well, he really did a hell of good job of being my boyfriend and being my best friend. He's the one who I talked to when I have problems. In a lot of times, I can relate myself and him. Yea, my friends are great but some of them grew up with so much care they just don't seem to understand how I feel because they don't need to worry about those.

So who change me the most over all these years? My college mates I guess, they change the way I look at this world some how, slightly more optimistic, more smile, more happy moments.
This silly lame guy change me the most, pulling me off from depressing zones and stuffing lots of optimistic thoughts in me. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be without him. He gave me a lot of happiness which only I know. Sometimes I wonder how my life will be if he leaves me some day, but I think I'll certainly live better than before because he's made me a happier person.
I smile more, I laugh more, I enjoy my life more and I stress... umm.. more. Lol, no one can help me with my stress problem, doctors are asking me to try my best to lower my stress level but I just... can't I guess?

I used to be the aloof, cold, I don't want to talk to you kind of people. Now, I'm not totally optimistic, still more to realistic but at least I'm not depress anymore and I don't get depress much nowadays.

Now, if I'm sad, I'll cry, I might break down and right after that I'll be much better. I won't think of it, and I'll move on. I don't linger anymore, not as much, I might think of it sometimes, let it haunts me a bit, but not to the extent which it'll affect my emotions.

Let's hope the happiness stays. =) I love my friends and my boyfriend, lots.

Ahhhhh, I'm desperate to get house of night series book 7, burned!
SHE's new album not bad =)
And I'm back from Terengganu this Sunday with a super cute baby monkey's photos.
Gahh, I lost my blogging hype, I might delete my blog on impulse someday =\

No more babbling, bye =D

Sigh, I am so .......... Lazy

2010-04-28T09:53:00.000+08:00

I know, as usual. I'm always lazy, my parents always complain about my laziness :(

anyway, I'm supposed to update my blog in full details what I've done last few days to recapture my nice, sweet memories...... BUT currently I'm too obsessed with the games in my iPod touch. Virtual villager 3 and chaos ring (same producer as final fantasy). They are my new love for now. I get hook on them from day to night, changing from one game to the other.

Ops, too far from the topic. I'm outside audi1 waiting for lecture as usual, and there was a hot, rich girl dressed up a tad too formal. She's pretty x)

*ROAR* let me think what I've done last few days.
I went to helen's 22 birthday last Friday, have a heck lot of fun meeting up with the old pals. Longest friendship ever (the meet up every year and never feel awkward even though we didn't meet up for half a year type)
went to sign up for gym on Saturday afternoon, bumped into adam, big hole in my pocket to pay for the gym.
Went to the ship on saturday night, the food sucks! It used to be much better. I wonder why they still have that much customers.
Went to gym on Monday, bumped into Ben.

I haven't upload all the photos yet, from two weeks back till now, sigh better do it soon. And I hope I'll update my blog with the full story.

Outa, I'm going to Terengganu on Friday, will be back on Sunday. Lots of delicious and fresh seafood await me there! Hehehehe see ya :)

Weeee! I'm a happy kid!

2010-04-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

My bro's back today, and his flight delayed like a few hours! I was supposed to follow my parents to pick him up, but it's raining and his luggage is huge, so yea, I stayed home. The whole time I was anticipating what I'm getting, lol, I made him a list of what he should get for me and I think he bought every single thing listed in the list. Oh, no he forgot to buy me make up brush set, never mind, he bought almost everything, COOOL!

My bro is awesome, I know, hehehehehehe
he bought me 3 shirts
2 eyeshadow palettes
one box of faux eye lashes
one BB cream
one exfoliating gel

pencil eye liner
marjolica marjoca mascara and liquid eye liner!
3 nail polish

heheheh I'm a happy girl now! Though I don't have the habit of applying bb cream, I guess I'll start using now though, if I'm going out or going uni, if not it's gonna be wasted.
And my first ever owned faux eye lashes!! My cousin sis gonna help me put it on this Saturday, and I'm going to Helen's birthday party this Friday. And my econs assignment 2 due next Monday, aiks, not fun.

did I mention this before? Anyway I'm gonna get this laptop table from Ikea next month, love both red and black design, wonder which one looks better in real life?

Choices, it's always about what you choose

2010-04-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

I FINALLY decided to reformat my laptop as it's getting slower and slower with my installations and downloaded movies/dramas loaded up, taking up 60% of the memory. The back up and reformatting part is easy, I was watching tv when the laptop did everything necessary but the reinstallation part is the real pain in the arse! Sigh, what to do, I hate laptop with slow performance, it annoys the hell out of me. That's prolly why I'm dreaming about getting Mac Book Pro almost every night, but it's gonna wait for at least two years, my laptop is still working fine.. I guess.. Something is wrong with the screen though, hope it wouldn't get worse.

Uh, today is a BLOOOOODY tired day! I woke up when I fall asleep, no, I wasn't doing anything but rolling on my bed trying to stop my mind from thinking (which never ever shuts down) and sleep. I failed! So I was like walking around like a zombie before my first lecture starts, but as usual tutorials woke me up a bunch, perhaps cause I can talk as much as there're always something for us to do.

My bro is coming back from Taiwan tomorrow, do I miss him? No, but I'm gonna go airport with my parents tomorrow afternoon though, just wanna check out what he bought back for me, weeeheeee! I'm just not the homesick type, I don't usually miss anyone, family, friends, whatsoever, people can really make me MISS, is the deceased, cause I know I'll never have the chance to see him again. So yea, missing him everyday and still hoping he'll spring back to life and come to me and give me a warm hug again. Lame, I know. =)

I came through my friend blog and found out the decision she made. I have no stand to tell her she's doing the right thing or not, because she'll be the only who knows what's right for her now. Everyone needs to make a choice, she's the type with strong determination and I sincerely give her my blessings. Not a route in thie world is easy, you need hardwork, determination, character, experience and knowledge in every field.

Choices, choices, life is all about making choices, but how many of us are sure that the choice we made is right for us? Sometimes it seems so good, but in the future you'll realize you were long. There are a lot of people around me, telling me they regret they stopped studying, they regret the ruthless decision, some of them don't think it matters, it's all about how you look at it, and how much you achieve I guss. But I know, if I don't study, I can never get into the field I want. Even though it's not what I really want, but it's better than what I initially thought I'll stuck in, everyone has their own call in their life, sometimes we just have to take some risk. I took it, and I think I'm happy with how my life goes on now. No dramas, or less dramas, so much peacefulness as compared to few years back.

Ahhhhh, why am I writing so many things here, sigh blame it to the slow installation, it's getting on my nerves ROAR!

Itchy itchy hand~

2010-04-18T00:58:00.000+08:00

is back to blogging!

Lol, I don't know why I blog so much today, like seriously, and I even took my own sweet time to edit the header and add effects to each photo even though I have more serious works to do. Well well, at least I'm much better than TEO HUNG LIANG. I am supposed to do my assignments and he's supposed to revise for his oncoming tests after lunch, but each time I turn over, it'll either be the book ON his face, his face ON the book or his face ON the bed sheet, so much about studying heh? And it's super hard to wake him up, it's like he's intoxicated or fainted. ROAR!

I'm gonna RANT RANT RANT in this post, because people enjoy pissing me off so much, I shall just keep ranting to entertain them. *big smile* (No, I won't do that, I hate people who rant in every posts.)

A little conversation with my dad which caused me screaming my lungs out and getting real mad while my dad laughed and my mum shook her head.

Mum : Why do you like messing with her so much? Since you know you can piss her off easily.

Dad : I haven't been doing it in a while and it's FUN! (Yes, he said FUN FUN FUN)

And I got so pissed I kept repeating "I don't want to talk to you" in my try not to scream tone when he push me around.

And our nice guy here Joel Brown reminds me so much of my dad because he's always trying to get into my nerve when he gets the chance. Sigh, bad bad Jo. And he never calls me Jemy, instead, he calls me JIMMY! ISH!

He was too agreed to what my dad said about it's fun to mess with me because of my reaction and stuff. And the worst part is that my dad knows how to piss me off instantly with me losing my temper and SCREAMMMMMM. While thank god none of my other friends can make me get real piss with me. I'll be grrrr and gahhh and roar when they try to do that but I'm not pissed, not angry inside. My dad really makes me angry inside that my voice and body will be TREMBLING!

Well, and there're too many names to include in the list of people-who-loves-to-piss-Jemy-off. FYI, Teo is one of them, and when I kick him away he'll say, "I feel so abused." ROARRRRRRRRRRR!

Well well, but those friends are always there when I need them as well, so yea, great friends come with some price huh? But why can't they just disturb someone else and I hope my dad will stop if not my high blood pressure will be so high I'm gonna get STROKE!

Anyway, I love the song 'Rude Boy' by Rhianna

Come here rude boy boy can you get it up

Come here rude boy boy is your big enough

New look again!!

2010-04-17T15:40:00.000+08:00

Picked a template out from blogger and created the header with the pictures taken last year, weee I like this most! x)

I'm supposed to do my assignments now =.= ROAR!

and Teo's supposed to study but he's snoring like a pig behind me, ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH

Waiting for someone to come back with food =)

2010-04-17T12:52:00.005+08:00

After holiday, there are a few changes in my university life.

I wasn’t as stress as beginning even though the workload increased
Got close to a few friends, which is a GREAT thing

We’re forced to learn how to distribute time in the most efficient way to get things done without procrastinating. Assignments for stats, accountings and management CANNOT be left till the last minute! If not you’re gonna suffer some serious consequences, and I guess I’ve known how to manage my time better now and I started to feel a bit relax. Not a bad thing, I don’t want my health level to snap by always always feeling stress!

Forget about all the school work and stuff, it’s really hard to make friends in university. I see all my friends only ONCE a week in tutorial, other than Esther. See, how to make friends in that way? Only ONE of my tutorial encourage interaction, so yea… But surprisingly I have got closer to the guys in my management class, like seriously VERY surprise. Haha, just didn’t see that coming. They’re a bunch of jokers but they do their works well. *HAPPY GRIN!*, After all, Monday’s class wasn’t that bad now.

It’s Monash Extreme Sports Carnival today, and I’m home blogging. Sigh, Teo’s having tests next week and he’s coming over to study, so I guess I’ll just do my micro and stats assignments today.

It’s harder to ask my parents to fetch me to anywhere after I got together with Teo, knowing they’re always busy working and basically don’t feel too good to trouble them. That’s the reason why I always say ‘no’ to most of the hang out invitations and stuff when I’m single. =(

My bro went to Taiwan yesterday, with a half A4 page size shopping list, just for me. Ngek ngek! A 4 days 3 nights trip, gahhh I want to save up to go vacation in my final year, but but I’m crazily in love with Mac Book Pro now. AHHHHHHH! Well, vacation goes first, my laptop is still breathing, so far….

SO yea, my bro wasn’t home since yesterday so obviously no one gets into his room and mess with his things. Hmm, yes so far no one. I wasn’t in the mood to throw his manga on his bed and see him shrieks when he’s back with a bloody messy room. 

Yesterday night, there was a bee in my room, the buzzing sound from the bee just woke me up from my sleep for at least 50 times! Usually they die fast, so I didn’t bother, but that bee has a long life, which is a bad thing, so I went to my bro’s room to sleep. Being all sleepy and weary, I saw a full water bottle on my bro’s bed, vertically. I didn’t think about it until I wake up. I wonder who brought it in since I’m the ONLY person who went to his room that day and only my brother and I have the habit of bringing water bottles to our room. Hmmmmm, I don’t care, even if it’s not real I’m gonna make my bro believes his room is haunted when he’s back. Sigh, I want to go taiwan too!!!!!

D:

Inhale, exhale, take a deep breath

2010-04-14T09:46:00.000+08:00

Well, Easter break is over, a majorly sad case, and I just realized after I hand in my accounting assigment this friday, another three assignments are awaiting me. We have started two new assignments and waiting for microeconomics lecturer to tell us our assigment 2 question.

Seriously, I've lost most of my interest in blogging, even if this is the space for me to leave piece and bits of my memories. And I'm only blogging out of boredom, since my class is 30 minutes away and my lack of anythig to read (lazy to read so I left my texts home), I chose to blog.

Grr, I left my water bottle in my mum's car!!!

Thinking back of last week, I just realized I haven't uploaded anything from my camera yet, freaking lots of pictures taken when we went to the curve for our anniversary.

And seriously, nice meeting up with gab and Steven, I miss them a lot. Steven is in sunway and gab taking comp science at monash, it's ard to bump into both of them. Sigh, time passEd so fast that day, too fast.

After meeting up with them, I went to Esther's house and played with her shaved toy poodle, that super hyper snoopy lol. It's so active! He accidentally bit my lips when he tried to kiss me, ouchie!
After the whole series of playing with dog and went to do pedi and medi, three of us (Esther, Teo and me) went to look out point with the help of gps in my iPod touch. But it's raining cats and dogs when we're having dinner at gasoline, hence no view to gawk at :(

anyway I'm planning to go sunway lagoon night park someday with Steven they all, since steven is the one who came up with the idea at the beginning. Let's hope we're meeting up soon.

Gotta go grab a bottle of mineral bottle at cafeteria, wonder when will I blog again.

Back from MIAing

2010-04-06T10:47:00.000+08:00

Weee, yeap, busy in assignments are my prime excuse of being MIA for so damn long, but I actually did have an urge to come back to blog when I almost done my assignments, but I fall sick D: like seriously freakishly sick.

I've been telling my friends whining about the medicines I need to take. Lol
9 pills per meal, 4 times a day, do the math and you'll realize I eat medicine more the food, and the pills are so strong I can't stay awake long. So I skipped like 4 lectures and 2 tutorials, soooooooo dead hahahahahaha. The best/worst part is even after I've stopped taking the pills, the effects linger and I feel intoxicated, lol, freaking hyper and high whole day and can't stop disturbing people in msn. First victim, JOEL BROWN. Sadddddddddd

Anyway, didn't do much past few weeks other than going to OUG nigh market with Teo and his mum, his mum came to my house and have a friendly conversation with my parents (gosh, we're so freaking official), I missed Ching Ming and didn't get the chance to clean my ancestors' grave this year. Sigh, never mind I shall go next year, this is the first year I didn't go to the grave yard during Ching Ming I think.

Then, some short updates about last two days.

Sunday, lot 10 for food with family + Teo and Pavilion to watch future X-cops, lame CGI, okay story line, kind of expected from hong kong movie. Andy Lau's costume is super duper ugly.
Monday, celebrated 7th month anniversary at the Curve, Ikea for lunch, redbox session, how to train your dragon, jap food, pet shop.

Sigh, I'm at Monash library now waiting for Teo to get his project done then I shall meet up with Gab and Steven to watch Clash of the Titans. Adam said the movie sucks, so yeap, adjusting expectations so I won't feel like burning the movie box down later. The show looks cool to me!

Can't wait for iron man 2 anyway x)

Oh, did I mention I'm having one week easter holiday now? Study in Monash university rocks XD (if you don't look at the school fees *smile*)

How To Train Your Dragon Widget

2010-03-16T19:36:00.001+08:00

Baby’s 19th birthday =)

2010-03-16T14:53:00.001+08:00

I’m supposed to post this up like.. errrrr 3 days ago? Hehe, been hanging out with him too much (as usual) and been doing piece and bits of assignments so I’d totally forgot about my blog. *smile*

On 13th of March, I’d celebrated his birthday with him one day earlier because it’s hard for me to cook for him on his birthday which is Sunday, all my family members will be home, no self-proclaimed romantic lunch. XD

Wanted to get more food for hi m but he said it’s easy and blah, so end up only honey sausage and salmon, which is soooo filling due to the thic k and delicious salmon. And the drink, apple juice served in crystal wine glass, lol, thanks to the wonderful wine glass, it looks like champagne in photos. muahahahahaha

Bought Alice in the Wonderland 3D online on Friday, so we headed to Pyramid right after we’ve done eating. Since it’s still early, around 2pm and the show starts at 4pm, I went to get my HTC Diamond 2 and got my Xperia’s keyboard fixed (for my dad). The service is really good and they provide after service as well, for apps and stuffs, friendly, flattering workers and a generous boss.

Okay, Alice in the Wonderland 3D, not nice, not fun, story is very predictable, Teo fell asleep three times and I have to wake him up three times and make sure I don’t fell asleep and suppress the urge to walk out from the cinema. I don’t know, maybe I’m really expecting the movie to be real good, I’m waiting for it for like a month and it’s just so disappointing.

Well, at least our dinner is not as disappointing. Dinner at Kim Gary. Sigh, I planned to have Japanese food, but I hate queueing for food, so~

Oh not to forget, he’s so pretty that night with make up on XD

green eye shadow on right eye and purple on left

girls going for bigger eye look? You know which colour to apply now ngek ngek

I didn’t manage to get a cake for him, yes, I’m a lousy girl friend, you can shut up now. x)

Sunday~! Cuddling at the living room watching Tv, I mean I watch, he sleeps. Yes, he sleeps all the time. Go check the pandas out at China and you’ll know why he’s Mr Panda. Went to Secret Recipe for some cake, australia cheese french fries (something like that) and mushroom soup. Talk talk talk, walk walk walk, eat eat eat.

Some information are not meant to be shared =)

This is how our photos will look like when we’re old =)

I promise I’ll bake you some cake next year, provided there’s no assignment in the first few weeks of uni x)

Spamming monash's keyboard.

2010-03-11T09:29:00.000+08:00

X)
Yesterday after uni ended, we (me and Teo are like always together, so yea WE) went to Sunway Pyrmaid to get information about my Xperia trade-in price and HTC's phones current market prices. Sigh, Xperia was good, and I really like it until the keyboard gone haywired and it can't really be permanently solved. I've researched online and the fellow said even though they change the whole keyboard for you, the same problem will happen again with wear and tear. And the design of the phone wasn't so suitable for on screen typing. (It wasn't a big deal since I've a keyboard, but hey, fuck the keyboard =.=). Even the guy from Sony said the same thing yea, so.. I decided to give it to my dad after it's done repairing cause the trade-in price is maximum RM550 for a Rm2.5k phone *ROAR* damn pisssssss! But then this morning my dad said he's gonna buy the phone from me and stuff so yea, at least better now. =)

I've decided to get myself a HTC Touch Diamond 2 since now they're having promotion from PDA Expert. And the guy with the name Ian from PDA Expert the stall with big HTC in front of Asian Avenue is very nice and patient. I'd asked him so many questions and stuff and he gave me a night to do my review clearly to decide whether or not I want to get the phone. So yeap, I've reserved the phone from him yesterday night and I'll be getting my new phone on this Saturday. Just, I hope this phone can work for 3 years plus like what I expect my Xperia will do even though it disappoint me like so much. Ohya, the review is really good anyway, not much problems.

ROAR ROAR! Jing I'm not as rich, I've no cash to buy HTC HD2!!! But I still prefer my diamond 2 though, sleek and COOOOOOL =D

I shall end this post with this text message I sent to Teo last night during Micro class, toooooo BORED.
"bah bah black sheep have you any fool?"
"No miss no miss I'm a fool." -.- Yea, typical Teo, I KNOW